Sunday, June 17th 2018

Well Friday was Day 600 and I didn't even write an entry for that day. I already wrote about what I did on Friday. I didn't do much on Saturday, just went to the dentist and got an oil change. Then I was at home for the rest of the time watching videos or doing "that". I ended up doing "that" three times. The rest of the time was basically doing nothing.

Today, Sunday, though, I went out to Wal-Mart and bought myself a pair of +1.25 reading glasses. The Wal-Mart I went to is open 24/7 and there were still a lot of people there when I went, at around 1:30 AM or so, I didn't track the time so I just put all these hours into a "Wasting Time" basket. I was pretty surprised that there were still a lot of people there.

When I went to the reading glasses section, the reading glasses section for this Wal-Mart was completely messed up. In this one stand there were basically zero reading glasses, just hundreds of open hanger slots with nothing on them. And sparsely in between you'd see some reading glasses broken and lying horizontally on top of two hanger slots. The rest were completely empty, and I mean it was completely cleaned out. I asked one of the Wal-Mart employees working there, and there were a ton of them at night as that's when they clean up and fill up the store with items, about what happened to the reading glasses, and she pointed me towards another section. This one had reading glasses!

There were fewer slots here, like half or a quarter as much as the other section, but at least this one had some reading glasses. Some of the reading glasses were broken and some had missing lenses and others were just missing altogether and just the price tag and the 'free cloth glasses case' that came with the glasses were hanging from the slots. Majority of the slots were also missing glasses, so it barely had any slots in the first place, and most of them were empty. This was the complete opposite of the other Wal-Mart I went to where it was filled with reading glasses and clean. This place's reading glasses section was dirty and it looked like a lot of glasses had been stolen and/or damaged, it looked fucked up.

Anyway I ended up buying a pair. I've written and deleted several paragraphs that may not have been appropriate. I already feel like I can't actually write my honest thoughts on here anymore. Some thoughts I should just keep to myself. So I bought these glasses for $5.88 but it was $6.12 I think after the taxes, and when I got to the car, I just popped the lenses out. Literally just pushed them with my thumbs, and pop! They popped right out. It took less than 10 seconds probably to get each lens, the first one was nearly instant, and the second lens I had slightly more trouble with, but after putting in more pressure, it popped right out. Super easy.

Then I drove back home, and that leads us to now. I'm feeling very sleepy and tired now, so I am about to go to sleep soon. Oh, and I taped them on top of my regular glasses and they fit snuggly in. I can't wait until my clip-ons arrive and then we'll see how effective those glasses are. I think I'm going to be using these. I don't have any clear tape, so it honestly looks like I'm wearing goggles as it looks like there's lenses on top of my regular lenses.

Why didn't I learn about this method of improving eyesight before, you know? Oh, and I found out about this weird discovery phenomena. I find out about radical ideas way before most people, and it takes the rest of the population 3-4 years to realize what I already realized and learned about 3-4 years ago. Some ideas that I realized way before everyone, way ahead of the curve? College is way too expensive and a waste of time (2013), Bitcoin and mining cryptocurrencies (2013), YouTube (2005), Vegan – for years I was a vegan no one had even heard of the word (2012), Keto – except I realized it was bullshit after trying it for a bit and reading more information on it (2013), Several songs and bands/artists – except often I wasn't years ahead sometimes just months ahead (varies), Online university – wrote an essay about it in 2011 or 2012 comparing online vs traditional universities but signed up in 2016 for one, wait 2-3 years and then it'll be so popular and normal (2016), and many more to come in the future.

What is this next idea I'm ahead of in the curve? That vision can be improved and it's not actually that hard once you learn about the biology about how the eye works. I've had this idea actually since probably 2009 or so, when I got my contacts. Just this weird intuitive idea came to mind during the summer of 2009 I think, I was at my cousin's house, and I was in the bathroom, taking off my glasses to swim in the pool, and when I opened the door to go outside, it was bright, and I could still see pretty well although not as clearly with my glasses. I've had this idea even before this event I'm describing, but I basically thought about just not using my glasses and trying to improve my own vision by just staring into the distance for long periods of time.

It's weird, I've had this intuitive feeling of "the only reason I can't see as well is because I've been staring closely at this close up screen" for a very long time, and it just came to me from assumptions about how the eye worked. Jake from EndMyopia really just spelled it out and confirmed everything I had already known. This isn't "post-confirmation bias" or whatever it's called where somebody tells you something and you psychologically falsely believe you've known that all along, as I have really known it all along, I've written about trying to improve my vision since 2016 or 2017 and it's something I've been trying to do for even longer.

During my walks out at night, I would walk without glasses or contacts. I did this in 2015, 2016, 2017, and this year too. Maybe I wrote about it? Trying to focus on the lights as I walked down the sidewalk, closing my eyes, opening them, refocusing, trying to get that large starburst shape smaller and smaller, more concentrated and focused, close my eyes, and repeat. I've done this for as long as I can remember walking outside. And during that 2009 summer, I did spend a significant amount of time without my glasses, just staring outside the windows into the distance, but nothing came off that as I'd put my glasses on right after and then go back to using my computer.

What I never realized ever, was that reading glasses were just plus glasses, which are the opposite of the negative diopter glasses, and that you could stack them up, in order to 'pseudo-reduce' your diopter levels. I never knew that's how these lenses worked. But now that I know this is how they work, that makes things a whole lot clearer to me. The reason why I failed was that I wasn't training my eyes on distance 24/7. I would train it maybe 1 hour every few days, which wasn't much.

So I wanted to do this 24/7 but thought it wasn't going to be possible as I needed to see, and I could barely see without my glasses. But there we go. Reading glasses. The ultimate vision improvement hack. It will take the rest of the population maybe 3-4 years to realize this, what I've already realized a long long long time ago. And there are of course many more things and many more ideas to come that I'll again realize way before everyone, some of them I already have in my mind right now, but I can't apply them yet as I don't have the resources.

I think it takes 3-4 years after I get the resources and start on this new idea, that the rest of the population learns about it. I've heard about Bitcoin back in 2011, for the first time. It was around $30 or I think the story was it just 'reached' $30 and that was the all-time high back then. I was in 11th grade so I couldn't do shit, I couldn't even afford one I think, and even if I could, I didn't know how. I think I also browsed the forums back in the day, but these might be false memories. I can't recall 2011 that well, I can recall certain events, but nothing specific like browsing a certain forum, although it feels like I did that, these images I'm getting might've been from early 2013.

I learned that online colleges were a thing back in 2011 or 2012, and I didn't join one until 2016. There's still barely anyone taking them today, in 2018. But I bet next year or in 2020 there will be a ton of people, the growth will be parabolic I think. It just takes 3-4 years before everyone catches up to what I've realized a long freaking time ago. There's usually very few ideas that will surprise me, as I'm very widely read and just know about a huge sprawling number of topics. Maybe I just spend and waste too much time watching videos? Maybe that's why I know a bit more than most?

Either way, I'm going to sleep. I'm sleepy.

1:28 PM

Oh yeah. I studied C# for over an hour! It was basically a bit of this beginner course that I'm taking and I already knew everything that was covered, but this was on PluralSight and I wanted to start again from scratch as it plans out this entire course for you. I really enjoy this, I'm really having a lot of fun. The only problem is that oh my gosh there are so many things I want to learn, and there's not enough time, there's not enough anything for me to fully learn and grasp everything. ARGH!!!!!!

There's at least 20 or more courses I want to take... at the same time. And it drives me insane how I should allocate my time into learning these subjects. I have college coming up in a few days on Thursday. Oh man, my mom just called, they want me to go with them to Red Robbin for Father's Day. I did not get my dad anything yet.

Sigh. Yeah. This is what I mean when I say I don't have enough time. I'm freaking busy, and I can see my hours going away, ticking away. Tick tock the hours flock, then they disappear, vanished into the snow.

6:22 PM

So I went out with my parents and we went over to this restaurant and just ate food there, then we went over to an electronics store and looked around to see what kind of smartwatch my dad wanted, and to see what kind of laptop he wanted as well. This sounds so messed up, but we just went back home, and ordered a used smartwatch online that was a lot cheaper than the new ones in store. So we basically just went there to check things out, and then not even buy them there.

I just wanted to see what kind of laptop size he wanted, and I would order one from several years back because he won't notice the difference anyway as long as it was fast enough. So that was the plan, and I got a sense of what kind of laptop he wanted, he just wanted something small and thin, and that would work for him. The current laptop he has, we bought new for $300 and it is slow AF. It is as slow as the computer I had in 2002 if I turned that computer on today and tried to use it today, back then that computer was fast, and its speed was bearable.

Isn't it weird how you use the word "bare" or "bear" but then the "-able" suffix comes on the word "bear" even though you meant bare...? Word is saying bareable is not a word, but bearable is. That makes no sense to me.

Anyway, that lasted two hours. I thought we were just going to be gone for an hour, but we were gone for two! How in the hell? The time went by so quickly. I need to write down what courses I should take and what order to take them in, and then I can work on them at night. I'm already wearing these +1.5 diopter lenses on top of my regular lenses, so I should be good to go on using the computer for as long as I want to now, in theory anyway.

Oh my gosh. It's so hard and confusing about what I should take!! Ahhh!! For example, at work I mainly use AngularJS on the frontend and ASP .Net on the backend. I'm being put on a third project where I have to do some design work, so I really need to catch up on that again as well. For my side projects in real life outside of work, I want to use Vue.JS for the frontend and then PHP (Laravel) on the backend. I might even just use WordPress to be honest.

And so there lies some conflict. I need to study C# and AngularJS more for work, but on the side, for my side projects that I want to work on, I have to study PHP (Laravel) and Vue. I should have no problems just studying C# right now, and I don't think it hurts at all to do that. But the later I start studying PHP and Vue, the later I can get started working on my own projects, right?

So there lies the conflict. I also know that I can make my own good money if I study more design work in order to sell my work and find freelance gigs, and be able to supplement what I do on the side more, if I did that. I have another website idea in mind, and to get started on that, I want to create another design from scratch which means I should complete a design course first. I can already complete designs myself, but they suck, and they're terrible.

So there lies the confusion, right? There's two paths I can go down, and one is for work, the other is for my own side projects. Then college is coming up soon so I have to focus on that as well. I won't have enough time for a girlfriend or friends, and for me that's good, because I don't want to focus on any of that right now anyway. Nothing could be further from my mind, but the two smoker friends I had the other night, they kept saying that I should be looking for a girlfriend and kept advising me so much that I am missing out on life and I will regret not getting a girlfriend earlier.

Well my biggest regrets of my life, and I have had a lot, is that I didn't spend my time wisely enough when I was younger. I had regrets on girlfriends and whatnot, but those faded away. I don't care anymore today if I have a girlfriend or not or had one or not back then, it wouldn't have made much of a difference in my life. Not as much a significant difference as building my skills up, anyway.

So I think I'm going to be doing some design tutorials tonight. I have around 10 hours left of that course, which I will complete and then I'll be able to do some designs on my own, which means I can then sell them, or I can design people's sites, and I can then design my own site. Yeah. That's the plan anyway.

Yeah. I'll do that. That plan makes sense... I still don't know how to incorporate all this once college starts though. For now, I'm going to walk outside, take 10k steps, maybe run a bit, and then come back, work on the tutorials, then go to sleep. I don't plan on eating anymore as I'm full. I might also post my photos on IG that I have saved on draft right now. I have around 12 days lined up, and I can post them.... But maybe I should limit my posts to like 9 posts a day? That way I won't spam IG so much.

AHA! I found my 9th through 12th photos! Woohoo! I'm going to be posting these up as soon as I transfer them. I thought they were gone forever, but here they are. FOUND THEM! Oh yeah. So here is my plan for the rest of today: Go outside and walk 10k steps, come back here and transfer photos to my phone, upload 3-4 days worth of content to IG, continue the web design course, go to sleep early (around 9 or 10 PM). Okay. Let's do that. Let's try this... let's see if it works.

10:35 PM

Geez my website is dead. There's so few people that visit it. Last month was not that terrible with 475 unique visitors. April was not terrible either. This month though? Geez, 134 unique visitors so far. We're already halfway through the month and there's barely anyone visiting. I snicker at how bad my site is, of course I don't advertise it or post it anywhere.

I also tried to read a bit of my journal entries, and it was terrible to read through. I don't think it's a joyous experience reading through these journals, right? So I feel like there's not even a point to these journals. No one reads them, no one visits my website, what is the point of me even working on it? I think it's all personal. I just want to do this for myself, not for anyone. I'm going to grow old and die someday, and I'd rather leave a log for my older self to read about what my life was like when I was 24 rather than not leave one behind, and when I die, maybe other people will read it, to get a perspective of what life was like in the early 21st century?

You know how I can tell no one even reads any of my journals? I can see how many people visited what page during each month, and this month, only journals Day 581 through 588 have been visited just one time (and that was most likely from me checking out those entries to make sure they work). So there's random amounts of journal pages being read... It's just me visiting them and then leaving to check out if they worked or not. Great! Great.

Hmm. I'm going to read, I guess. I don't know what else to do with my life. I'm going to plan out tomorrow though, this is what I have planned out to do tomorrow: 1 hour of Web Design course, catch up my journal entries, post 9 pictures to IG, and that's it. Of course, the walking 10k steps and the 2k journal words is a given, those are things that have to be done daily without me writing about it. So I'm going to work on setting up tomorrow now.

Why do my journals suck!?!? I would like some critique on what I can do to improve my journal writing... should I hire someone to read through them? Gosh I'd feel embarrassed. Anyway, there's a contact form on this site, and apparently it's the most visited freaking page on this entire website (apart from the homepage). Why? I have no idea why. But that form can be used to contact me about any critiques or anything, just let me know.

Should I start telling people about my site again? Oh great, one of the images I posted up years ago now has over 1.7 million fuckign views on imgur. Even when you search for "JustMegawatt" my site comes up 5th on the list, after my YouTube channel, the subreddit dedicated to my website, my deviant art, the imgur photo I was talking about, and then there's my site Great. This site is dead...

That's kinda depressing, right? That's why I want to start working on this new website. Hopefully it'll be better than all the sites I've worked on so far, and I've worked on two to three successful ones already. This one, I'll put in more effort towards. I mean pretty much every site I've worked on became a hit, and viral. Maybe that was just back in the day? Maybe I can't recreate my former successes? It was a lot easier back then.

Man. I'm terrified. I'll try though, I'll try. So yeah. My journal, no one reads it. That's really sad to hear. This is one of the most important things in my life, and absolutely no one knows or cares about it. I kinda want to cry. Oh well, c'est la vie.

I'm going to read, or do something else. Yeah. I'm going to start again. I'm going to try my best. This will be a gig I work on, on the side, after work, after school. I'll have to reduce the amount of words I require to write a day here, and I have to possibly reduce the amount of steps I'm required to take a day too, once school starts.

I'm glad I'm writing a journal and keeping everything on track though. No one knows what the future will hold. Maybe I'm a has-been, maybe I'll never make it ever again, or maybe I will. I feel down, I feel bad. Can I make it again or will I fade into oblivion? I'd hate to have the latter happen, but it's all up to me. It's all up to me to get my life back on track again. Time to stand back up and start all over. I've gotten beaten up, knocked down, but I can stand again, and I can continue on with my life, I'll continue on with my life.

I want to repeat my past successes. Is it possible? I'm not as imaginative as I was. The internet isn't as new as it was. The competition wasn't as tough as today. I'm obscure. Should I just repeat exactly what I did back then? It will kind of shortcut everything, like I won't even make my own theme then.

Oh yeah, it's depressing. I started doing a bit of what I did before, and I was almost trembling. Starting again from scratch as a nobody with zero Internet authority.

Nice. I think I got it though. I think I may have a website idea that can make it. I'll keep working on this site until I die, making improvements, optimizations, and so on. I will do this. I'm not dead yet. I'm kind of shaking. I have to plan out how I want this new website to look.

Oh gosh I think I can do this. Ahhh. Maybe... I'm so scared, I'm so terrified. I'm alone. I wish I had someone with me. Yeah I understand I wrote a little bit earlier today that I didn't need anyone, but man. It does feel so lonely trying to take on the world by yourself. I think I can do this though. Please let this work.

I'm still going to have to take on that web design course and complete it before I feel comfortable in designing my own site. Or, if I were to do it in the old fashioned way, I wouldn't even design my own site, I'd just buy a theme and use it. I think that's what I might default to doing, just to get my site up and running. I don't like most themes today though. I browsed around for a while and they all look the same, they all look like they were built with bootstrap (they probably were) and therefore have bootstrap limitations.

Is this how every website looks these days? Gosh I'm browsing through some of these sites and they all look so identical and boring. Maybe I'm old fashioned and I just suck? Oh yeah. I found a nice site. I love it.

I'm just going to browse and plan all this.

Tasks Today
Buy Reading Glassess

Full list in the Extended Backlog page

No Technology Punishment Hours (for not completing yesterday's required tasks): 2
--Required Daily Tasks--
Did I take over 10,000 steps today? Yes
Did I write at least 2000 words in my journal today? Yes
Did I program for at least an hour? Yes
Did I work on or complete any backlog tasks? No

--Questions About Today--
Was today a productive day? No
Did you take a selfie for the day? Yes
Did you upload the previous day's journal entry? No
Did I eat just around 2000 calories today? No
Rate how satisfied you were with today: 5/10
Why this rating? I liked today despite it not being that productive. I got some work done, I did some exercises outside, I wrote around 2k words, and I got more influence and ideas from the new website idea I have. It was also Father's Day and I got to go out with my parents to a restaurant and an electronics store. Overall it was not a bad day.

Time Log

12:00 AM – Wasting Time – 2:35 AM

2:35 AM – Writing Journal – 3:53 AM

3:53 AM – Sleeping – 10:53 AM

10:53 AM – Wasting Time – 12:20 PM

12:20 PM – Studying C# - 1:28 PM

1:28 PM – Writing Journal – 1:32 PM

1:32 PM – Father's Day – 3:32 PM

3:32 PM – Chores – 4:32 PM

4:32 PM – Catching up Photos on IG – 5:42 PM

5:42 PM – Wasting Time – 6:22 PM

6:22 PM – Writing Journal – 6:46 PM

6:46 PM – Walking Outside – 8:26 PM

8:26 PM – Wasting Time – 9:43 PM

9:43 PM – Catching up Photos on IG – 10:28 PM

10:28 PM – Checking Website – 10:35 PM

10:35 PM – Writing Journal – 11:20 PM

11:20 PM – Working on New Website – 11:59 PM

Productive Hours (9:00)
Writing Journal (2:31)
Studying C# (1:08)
Catching up Photos on IG (1:55)
Chores (1:00)
Walking Outside (1:40)
Checking Website (0:07)
Working on New Website (0:39)

Neutral Hours (9:00)
Sleeping (7:00)
Father's Day (2:00)

Unproductive Hours (5:59)
Wasting Time (5:59)

Megg's Horses
Math: 0
Art: 8
Python: 7
Web Development: 333
Java: 0
JavaScript: 2
PHP: 4
C#: 5
General Programming: 8
Exercise: 54
Game Development: 4