Monday, June 11th 2018

10:38 PM

Oh gosh I can barely se the screen right now. You know what I see? I see a pretty much completely white screen (I have Microsoft Word open) and there's these tiny little blurry grayish (not black) like, sort of like a straight line, just going across the screen... It's like this weird, light gray straight looking line... There's three rows that I can barely make out, it looks like three or four rows, with some darker spots in the center and then it just grays outward...

It's probably a good...thing that the eye center vision eyesight place was fclopsed. Damn it. I don't know what I'm typing sometimes. I was about to go to the store and buy some computer glasses. I was about to go and psoibly get another eye exam, then buy some computer glasses. I was shopping for some online, and they were going for a ery expensive price of like $125 - $145 each. There wasn't anything cheap.

11:03 PM

Oh gosh I can barely see anything. But yeah. So I have this prescription sheet in front of me, it was when I got my eye exam in January this year, January 30th 2018, a few days after I was fired from work, and I wanted to get glasses because I could not pay for the contact prescriptions anymore. So I got this eye exam, and my plan was to buy glasses. The last time I got an eye exam, I think I remember my prescription being in the -3 range, so I was like, -3.75 or something like that, maybe I was already in the 4s? Anyway I don't remember it that well.

On this prescription paper right in front of me, this is what I have for my eyes, I have no idea which is left or which is right by the way, so I'll just stack them up in order and I don't even know much of what they mean exactly:


That's for my glasses. So whatever that is, I have -5.25 on one eye, and -5.75 on the other eye. I put them all up close to each other because they looked like dashes to me, I forgot that they might've been minus signs. It is too hard for me to go back and actually fix it now, because my glsses are in another room, and I cannot see the cursor.... It's nowhere on my screen... beaause I literally just can't see it. I can't even see any letters at all. I can't see any icons, just a bunch of colors, I can't see buttons, I can't see anything basically, just a general layout of how everything looks.

It's sort of like when you take a photo, and you blur it up using the photo app or whatever, and you blur it to a very high level, that's basically what I see. It's not exactly like that, because closer objects I can see more clearly, and when you use the blur function it usually blurs everything out in an equal level, but it is basically that, except with a mix of blurred and not-as-much-bluured objects, but my eyesight is so bad I cannot even see or I have a hard time seeing the "Stop" if I stood right in front of a stop sign.

Lasik was something I was also considering getting. But it turns out that my original theory about them just basically drilling this hole into your eye and then attaching a lens, might be right? Oh my gosh my freaking sources and whatever are conflicting, but one source says they reshape your eyes with lasers, and two soures say they just apply a lens to your eyes.... I don't know which is right at thos point, but I'm leaning towards them just placing these lenses in your eyes, as that makes more sense to me. As how that would be the solution that they went for. Reshaping eyes? That sounds too good to be true.

I found this guy online, his name is.... Oh man I can't even see where I am typing right now??? Am I typing at all? oh shit I'm on the next page.

Weird. I was on the next page but my page was still scrolled above... so I couldn't see the text moving... I couldn't see the grayish light grayish blob moving around.... Like it normally does when I type anything. I really cannot do any edits, because, it's so hard for me to even see what is going on, I can't even see any letters or any words, sitting right in front of the computer, at basically the normal distance I normally sit at.

Anyway, I found this guy online, I think his name is Jak Steiner. Jake Steiner, I hope that's his name. He runs this website alled EndMyopia, and I just listened to around an hour or maybe two hours of this podcast outside while I walked. And I feel like my entire life has been changed. With this kind of knowledge, I feel like, wow, so it is completely possible to fix your vision. That's something I've always believed in. It doesn't make sense that your eyes can just get worse, but can't get better. It did not make sense to me biologically, just the way biology works, every creature is adaptable to its circumstance.. dang it I deleted too many letters and I don't know what just happened.

Anyway.... I paused for a few minutes and I don't know where I am now... I started thinking some other thoughts, and my mind wandered.. I am really lost, because I canot look back at the sentence I just wrote, so now I have no idea what I just wrote... I know it was about Jake Steiner, and I went up to me walking outside listening to that podcast... and how my entire life and idas have been updated... And how it didn't make sense for eyesight to just get worse and worse biologically... I think that's where I left off....

So the bioloy of it was explained, and it's something I always just intuitively believed in and understood that way, but he, Jake, really put it in the science perspective. The reason our eyes get worse and worse, especially when we wear glasses, is because we train our eyes to strain and focus on closer objects. Our eyes have these lesnses, and the eye can actually change its shape, sort of like the lenses of a camera. It can elongate in order to see closer objects, and it can contract in order to see farther objects. It's fully adaptable.

What happens is that we keep the eyes in a fixed state, and the retinas which are in the back of our eys, the light that gets shown on them is in the wrong place. So the eyes adjust, contracting, and lengthening, in order to get this light to line up properly in the retina. What happens when you wear glasses though, is that you make your eyes comfortable with staying at whatever level it's a, and it makes the brain think that you're at the right level... with this kind of eyesigiht level. So that's why people who always just wear glasses will never see any improvement. Their eyes think they're already in the perfect spot.

But then what happens is when you add in staring at closer objects, like a computer or cell phone, for several horus a day, your eyes then readjust itself again, lengthening, in order to focus the eyes to the closer object. But wait, you're already wearing glases, so your eyes get to a lengthier elevel fromi your current level. So it gets worse and worse, as the years go on, and as you continue to wear glasses. Or contacts.

Now improving eyesight is a very lengthy process. For someone like me who has 5.75 in one freaking eye, it's probably going to take me nearly 10 years to get my vision back to 20/20. I think level 0 is the perfect spot... I don't even know that much about vision, but I think that's the desire. So to get to level 0 again, from -5.775, and it takes around 1 year to get .75 improvement a year, and that's with ridiculous effort, yeah it will take me several years, over five years, to get there.

I'm glad that I really discovered this early on. I mean it's something I never even knew about. Most people who sit in front of a computer all day freaking have glasses. All the friends I hung out with on Sunday... Dang it I messed up... AHhh.... All of them including me have glasses. I think I might have the worst vision of everyone though. So, that does infuriate me. I have pretty much the worst spot in the office.

Ah I forgot to start a new paragraph.... And I can't move that other one down!! Oh.. well...

Anyway, I have pretty much the worst spot in the office for vision. I sit in this freaking damply lit place with barely any light and it sucks because everything is so close visioned. I'm thinking of moving my stuff so that I can see out of this window.... Then I can finaly have something idstance to look at instead of just freaking sacrificing myself all day.

To get a sense of how bad my vision is, I'm going to try and open the Magnifying program right now... And we'll see if I can even see anything from there...Okay I am now at 900 percent... and I can see the characters, not clearly at all, but I can read them now. Oh yeah! This is cool. What sucks though is that my mouse sisze is huge, it fills up pretty much laf of the entire screen, and I cannot even just follow along on the text here, I have to keep moving the mouse. And no I don't even see things clearly. Everything is blurry still. Everything. I can at least somewhat read words more comfortably than before, way more comfortably, I'm able to infer what a word is based on its shaped, but no, I don't see clearly at all. Let m,e zoom in more.

Oh there it is. 1600% is the maximum view point and I can still just barely see anything. I at least do not strain as much. Wait, is everything I write in italics? WHAT. WHAT!!! I didn't even realize. Okay I zoomed back out to 600% which is blurry as hell in comparison. This is super blurry. I can just barely make out the words now. yeah I cannot even see what the hell a word is. Honestly, I just see double of everything.

And the only reason I can understand these letters and word combinations, is because I am familiar with them. If I saw some weird picture online, a random picture, I would not be able to tell what was there. Let me look one up online right now actually and see if I can even see what's there.

Wow I lied. I'm able to tell what the photos area. Although not that well, and very blurrily, I can understand photos a lot more easily than this text. I can infer much better on the photos than I can on the text. Because I might not see a dog in perfect detail, but I know it's a dog, and I know what landscape looks like. So yeah.

Anyway, today was a pretty good day. I went over 10k steps again, and I think I wrote over 200000 owords at this fuck... at this point. Yeah imeant to just type in 2000 but my fingers kept typing in the zeroes. Why? Why'd they do that? It was like I was trying to lift my fingers away but instead they spasmed into clicking 0 a few more times. Two more times, right? Yeah. I think two more times.

Anyway, I am super sleepy. I hope I wrote at least 2000 words for the day. Using zoom is fun, and I might do that. It is very cool. So yeah.There we go. I hate saying So yeah by the way. It feels like a cop out and it sucks. The phrase just sucks, it's lazy, and unintelligent, it sounds so stupid. I hate using that phrase but it just pops up sometimes unconsciously, so yeah, so yeah, so yeah. It's this passive phrase where I'm not sure what to say next so I just say so yeah, so yeah, so yeah. Peace out. I have no idea what time I started or stopped typing but I'm just going to infer, and I have no idea what time I'm going to sleep but I'll just infer.

Tasks Today
Buy Computer Glasses

Full list in the Extended Backlog page

No Technology Punishment Hours (for not completing yesterday's required tasks): 2
--Required Daily Tasks--
Did I take over 10,000 steps today? Yes
Did I write at least 2000 words in my journal today? Yes
Did I program for at least an hour? Yes
Did I eat carrots before going to sleep? Yes
Did I work on or complete any backlog tasks? No

--Questions About Today--
Was today a productive day? Yes
Did you take a selfie for the day? Yes
Did you upload the previous day's journal entry? No
Did I eat just around 2000 calories today? No
Rate how satisfied you were with today: 8
Why this rating? I found out that curing myopia (nearsightedness) was possible and I got in all the information on how to do just that today.

Time Log

12:00 AM – Sleeping – 6:40 AM

6:40 AM – Preparing for Work – 7:20 AM

7:20 AM – Driving – 7:31 AM

7:31 AM – Working – 12:35 PM

12:35 PM – Break – 1:05 PM

1:05 PM – Working – 5:01 PM

5:01 PM – Driving – 5:50 PM

5:50 PM – Break – 6:50 PM

6:50 PM – Researching Eyes – 8:00 PM

8:00 PM – Walking Outside – 9:30 PM

9:30 PM – Wasting Time – 10:38 PM

10:38 PM – Writing Journal – 10:43 PM

10:43 PM – Wasting Time – 11:03 PM

11:03 PM – Writing Journal – 11:43 PM

11:43 PM – Preparing to Sleep – 11:59 PM

Productive Hours (11:15)
Working (9:00)
Walking Outside (1:30)
Writing Journal (0:45)

Neutral Hours (8:17)
Sleeping (6:40)
Preparing for Work (0:40)
Driving (0:11)
Break (0:30)
Preparing to Sleep (0:16)

Unproductive Hours (1:28)
Wasting Time (1:28)

Megg's Horses
Math: 0
Art: 8
Python: 7
Web Development: 301
Java: 0
JavaScript: 2
PHP: 4
C#: 4
General Programming: 8
Exercise: 49
Game Development: 4