Monday, May 28th 2018

12:18 AM

Sprouting ferns look so alien. They look so bizarre and out of this world. I mean there's only five kingdoms we've discovered on this planet (I mean that's what I learned growing up, it changes all the time though so I'm not sure how many kingdoms there are now, let me check). Well, there are six kingdoms now, basically what I knew before, except Monera had been split up into Archaebacteria and Eubacteria. I don't know the difference between protists and eubacteria, and I don't know what Archaebacteria is classified as different from Eubacteria. Oh well.

Anyway, there's only a limited number of kingdoms we have here. Imagine alien life in space, what kind of completely out of this world kingdom is out there? Every kingdom is so vastly different from one another, I mean take a look at animals and plants, we're totally different. What other kinds of different, entirely different kingdoms are out there?

I mean not only would their cell structure be different, but also their method of absorbing energy, their way of 'eating', like plants don't even eat. How do they reproduce? Mammals have sex, plants spread pollen? I don't even know, but they have seeds while we have babies. Maybe plants don't even need another plant to reproduce, it can just make duplicates of itself in the form of seeds. I mean, isn't that extraordinary?

I don't doubt there's a species out there that can duplicate itself, and are more like animals than plants. But then our entire body composition would also be different. They may not even have lungs or a heart like we do, because they have grown in an entirely different environment. Maybe the planet they live on is entirely made out of for example, a green colored mercury-like substance? Where the literal 'land' masses are blobby blobs and how these creatures get around is 'standing' on the green substance? How they eat is they eat these gases that are plentiful on the planet naturally, but are deadly to us to even make contact with our skin, and the entire sky is red from their star illuminating it all.

And in this one planet there's at least 10 other kingdoms, all completely different from one another. Not only that, they would have completely different sensory receptors than we do. For example, they may communicate by sending altered plasma molecules to each other at instantaneous speeds making it seem like they're telepathic, like they could have this organ that creates and shoots out these plasma molecules sort of like how we can send out sound waves by using our tongue, and these plasma waves can permeate walls just as easily as sound can, and even travel a further distance.

Then they have a receptor sense where they receive these plasma molecules sort of like how we have ears that receive these sound signals. IT's entirely possible as these creatures would have travelled a completely different evolutionary path than we have. They would be so different to imagine it's not even comprehendible to us.

For example, Graham, the model created as the 'perfect car cash survivor' human, looks completely alien. But he's a human. Even he looks very strange even though he's a human, he looks alien, but he's not. An actual alien would have limbs (or maybe not) that we can't even comprehend a usage for. They would have sensor organs and a way of travel and/or a way of communicating and/or a survival mechanism, that we can't even comprehend. Like plants, they don't or seemingly don't even have anything to defend themselves with (other than a thick tree trunk).

Basically, the concept of an actual alien has never actually been realized by anyone. Every alien model out there has eyes, why would they have eyes? Do trees have eyes? Do bacteria have eyes? Do fungi have eyes? Keep in mind these are entirely different kingdoms, yet they don't even have eyes. Eyes seem to be an animal trait, every alien concept we have ever conceived of as humanity are all the same, they all exhibit animal-like traits, but that's incorrect.

For example, another alien being is fungi. They look so weird. They're these umbrella looking things, that feed off of decomposing or currently living material, they're like parasites. If we had never seen fungi before, could we ever imagine what they look like? Probably not. It's the same with other living creatures, for example, a random animal, if you've never seen that before, then you'd be surprised the first time you saw it, as you could never have imagined something so unique looking.

An example of a weird looking creature is the Mantis Shrimp. I mean if you've never heard of it or never seen one, it looks odd, but it's not even an alien. It's here, it lives here. Actually, there's a ton of 'alien' looking life on our planet, and those are insects. Just take a look at them, and they're all insanely weird looking. The reason we think that is because they don't fit our formula of two arms, two legs, two eyes, a heart, etc, like every other animal does.

I mean why do we imagine aliens as looking so much like us? No alien needs to have two eyes or two legs or two arms or anything. They most likely don't. If anything, they're look even weirder than the insects. Some might even have 6 'heads' and their heads are on their 'feet' instead of where their head should be, and they instead have one long piece of 'hair' where their head is, and they travel by alternating the heads forward and back, and they're body is a 3d cube shape, like exactly a 3d cube, and they have no limbs except for what look like 'open books' on all sides of the cube, and the 'pages' of these books flip open to one page to the next as they move. And the heads are all different, and they're not round nor do they have eyes or any other human feature, they're each different colored, they're all shaped like starfish, and they serve a purpose we cannot understand because our senses cannot detect anything else about them.

Like that's an example of an alien, an actual alien that may exist somewhere. Oh, and it doesn't reproduce, instead it can combine into other shapes like this, and stack up or expand to become large mountains or any structure. It reproduces by having exactly 6 of them, each sacrifice a head, leaving only 5 for the ones that survive, and they have to wait 30 years (which to them is like one millisecond because their lifespan is so much longer) to regrow. They don't eat food, they just gather gamma ray energy from space and can live nearly indefinitely. They can die but they're very nearly immune to everything, and their bodies are as hard as the hardest material found on earth times a billion, though they are still mortal.

Also, when they combine like that, they also combine their thinking ability and capacity and multiply it by magnitudes. They're able to basically control the universe because of their enhanced ability to think, and their thinking ability is so powerful bits of it we can just call the 'thinking particles' randomly leak out into the universe into other galaxies and supergalaxy clusters, a small amount of these thinking particles to give birth to intelligent beings from nothing, this means that their thinking particles actually cause life to form, because they allow non-thinking material to be able to think, even if it's just a small thought of 'I want to survive'.

And who knows? Maybe I and we, are all being willed and influenced by this thinking particle, where literally just one spec landed on a piece of dust billions of years ago on our planet, and thus caused birth to life. Oh, and these beings are each the size of 500 earths, as the planet they live on is around 987 times larger than VY Canis Majoris.

Yeah, that's a size we cannot even comprehend, but that's what a 'real' alien is like. Oh, and there's billions of them scattered everywhere on the surface of the planet. Oh, and their will is so powerful what they think, can be brought into existence. They know this themselves, and therefore they choose not to just create random things constantly left and right, for they also have full control of their thoughts, and they can choose to start it or stop it or think any thought they want, and solve any problem the want, they're about nearly infinite times faster at processing complex technical tasks than mega quantum computers from the year 27000.

This means that in about a second our time, they have already comprehended the entire universe, they have already thought about every possible situation and every possible action and reaction in their head alone, they have also already comprehended and discerned the thoughts of every single individual anywhere in the universe from the tiniest Xahf (beings so small they're smaller than atoms yet are still living creatures capable of killing basically any other if they wanted to, and as a side effect are also basically unable to be killed by any other due to their size) to the smartest humans, to even what computers and AI think, to other creatures vastly more intelligent than us. They can comprehend all their possible thoughts and can calculate from that being's lifetime, what they are 99.9999% statistically most likely thinking about during any given situation that they have already predicted would happen.

Their way of 'predicting' is so accurate, it's as if they can tell time itself. They may even be able to see time and exist outside of it, but as a human I can't understand any of their abilities other than what I'm humanly able to comprehend. But like I said, in a second of our time, they have already comprehended everything there is to comprehend in our universe, from its beginning to its end, to way before it started, to way after it ends, every single life and every single second that passed by, they understand it all in that one second.

And yet to them, for they live so long, they comprehend that thirty years to us, is like one millisecond to them. With our one millisecond, they may have also already done what I said they were able to do in just one second, it may be that they might have already comprehended it "all" in a single nanosecond. All our thoughts, memories, our entire livelihood, everything about our entire species, everything about our entire planet, they've already finished thinking about, along with everything else in the universe, in possibly just one of our nanoseconds.

What are these seemingly invincible beings called? They're called wods. A single one of them is just a wod. But they are immensely powerful. They do not fight with each other, as they can already comprehend each other wod's thoughts and entire existence as well, seemingly a paradox where a wod would enter and comprehend each other wod's existence, whom are also comprehending each other wod's existence, and so on and so on, on a never-ending loop of infinite thinking. Yet they're able to get through that, and to them, they cancel this thought process once they're around 97835713709742183 deep in each other's thoughts, which again, all of this plus the universe and everything else, has occurred simultaneously.

They're able to think of a nearly infinite number of thoughts and have multiple streams of thoughts going on at the same time, like how a multi-threaded computer can perform two tasks at once, they can perform a nearly infinite amount of tasks each at a nearly instantaneous speed (this includes every task, just every task no matter how complex or difficult it is for us, they've already done that plus everything else in the universe).

Due to their incredible thinking capacity, they have also imagined every possibility. Every possibility, in a single nanosecond of our time. They have imagined every 'sense' that has existed, will ever be imagined, will never be imagined but was possible to imagine, or even senses that were never possible to imagine and will never exist, but they do exist in the wod's mind. They've not only done this for every 'sense', but also for every song possible, every artwork possible, every story, every dance, everything we humans can create and imagine, plus the everything that everything can everything. Everything. They've already comprehended everything from everything in nearly instantaneous speeds.

These creatures are called Wods and they live for nearly eternity.

8:36 AM

We live in a physics vacuum. All of the physics that we can test and analyze today, are just a small part of the bigger picture, because the only reason that the physics we understand works in our world, is because our world has a certain composition that allows it to work as such. For example, some planets may not even have any gravity despite possessing large masses, it could be that only our galaxy cluster experiences this, as the elements and particles that make up our own galaxy are able to exude this kind of property.

Another example that could be different on a different planet or world would be boiling water, let's say some other planet also has water, but their natural air doesn't have the same composition as ours. Let's say their 'air' instead is made up of a gas compound that's extremely rare on earth but is as abundant as air is on ours, and when you try to boil water in this planet, instead of boiling, the water freezes and then after a few seconds, turns into fire, like the water literally turns to fire.

Who's to say such reactions aren't possible in such a planet? I mean if that weren't different enough, the ground also completely different. It would be made up of again, material extremely rare here, but plentiful there, let's say it's made out of gold, the entire ground is, it's all gold all the way to the inner core. Now gold is extremely dense and hard, what could having it here mean? Let's say there's this electrical storm of unknown activity that goes on in the center of the planet, due to all this gold around it, the effects are unobservable and can only be inferred, but these reactions or storms cause all sorts of weird things to happen on the surface, like turning water into fire for example.

And fire, to us, it's this very weird thing. It might be in some worlds, fire can't be created as easily as in ours. Instead of fire when striking a match for example, pink goop sludges out, extremely hot pink goop, but pink goop that just plops on the floor as soon as the match is struck. And then this is the 'fire' of this world, where it's so plentiful that you can just find these pink goops in many areas, and you can seemingly create them at will from a striking of the match.

Then let's say the entire surface of the planet is covered with Gorhazs, these round and flat beings that live off of 'shine', that's how they 'eat', and because the gold is shiny, they live off of that. Right? All of the physics that exist in our world, that we can measure, that we have experimented on, are only true because so far we've been able to do these experiments on our planet, and because the next closest planet we've observed, mars, just so happens to have similar effects.

But the thing is, Mars could be a second earth. It could have been literally Earth, composed of the same exact materials and everything, but was just a little bit further away, and so life became impossible, and water froze and gravity pulled it up on its poles, or something. But then let's say Venus, I mean we've never been there, and I'm not sure if we've sent any probes there yet either, but let's say the material is also sort of similar to ours, which is why they again have similar physical properties.

And the reason why these close objects to us have similar physical properties, is because they're close to us. If they were further away, they'd be made up of entirely different properties and compositions that we have never seen nor could have imagined. For example, elements can be one thing, particles can be another, but then there could also be Jemlons which are an entirely new physical component we have never observed in our entire solar system. There could be thousands of physical components that we have never observed, differing per galaxy cluster. This is all entirely possible, we'd never know.

There are entirely much more mysteries out there than we have answers to, and we can never truly answer any of these questions until we get 'up close' to these areas and planets and solar systems, right up there staring at it directly. Then, for example, maybe not everything is detectable through the senses that we have. Maybe there's a whole lot of other mysterious effects and phenomena happening throughout the universe that we'd never be able to detect, as we can't see much beyond 'visible light', nor can we really 'measure' what we don't understand that can or should be measured.

I mean there could be these dancing tornado particles that make up the entire universe, that we can never detect, not with our available senses. I mean can I describe 'sound' if I couldn't hear? Can I describe color if I couldn't see? Sound is this phenomenon that traverses the universe, it's these waves of particles pushing apart other waves of particles, usually formed by two objects colliding, as the sound travels outward from the sound origin point, in all directions at once, and we are able to sense it. Some properties of sound are pitch and volume, pitch is this usually how fast that object is travelling, and the higher the pitch the faster the sound particles are going through the air, whether towards us or away from us, and volume is how powerful that sound wave is, the louder it is the stronger push it has against all other particles. It sounds like science fiction as I describe it, but this is what happens.

Then light is something similar, where from an origin source point of light, and light is again this very weird particle. It can bounce off of objects in order for us to detect that it's there, without us having to physically touching the object or bumping into it. Some properties of light are color and brightness, where color is this property of the shade of the object, it just so happens nearly every object out there reflects at least one color of light, and that reflection is the color we see, why this happens, we don't know. Brightness is similar to volume, in that it's the intensity of the light, stars such as the sun are powerful light sources and their brightness far exceeds anything we can produce ourselves (but maybe not against a concentrated laser, but maybe even then).

How can I describe or detect anything I'm unable to experience? Regarding the tornado particles, we cannot sense them. But maybe beings in another universe, have these 'tornado' shaped openings in their body, very miniscule though sort of looking like tornado shaped hair folicles, that can somehow absorb these tornado particles, and these tornado particles have properties such as gax and frebs, in which frebs are just the intensity of the tornado particle, and gax is this property similar to color in which we can't describe it to someone that has never experienced it. Using these tornado particles, beings can then sense unfathomable things that we cannot even conceive of with our limited brains, so there's no point in me even trying to describe it. They do something so complex, something we can never sense or experience, and they do it well, just as well as we can see, they can just as easily detect these tornado particles.

Oh and there are tens of thousands or more of these 'undetectable' substances in the universe. I mean maybe in a planet made out of gold, you don't need any sight or hearing to be able to survive on it, so the beings on that planet wouldn't be able to see or hear, but they'd be able to get around their planet much more easily than we can, even with our sight. Maybe they can detect everything around them in a 50 mile radius, because of some particles we cannot comprehend that are being sensed by these beings we have a hard time imagining. They can even read the thoughts of other beings in that proximity. Who's to say there isn't a sense that can detect and analyze all the electromagnetic pulses in our brain, because on their planet, they live in one full of storms and miniature storms and micro and nano storms, that just occur all places and everywhere, even 'storms' such as the one in our brain as we think.

12:01 PM

Well I put my bike up for sale and I got 10 offers. I was supposed to meet two of them today, but the first one who showed up at 9:24 AM, even though we scheduled for 9:30 AM, left literally as soon as we got out of the door, so we didn't even see him, and he was just gone. He said he would be back two hours later, but it's been two hours already and I haven't seen him since. The other guy said he wanted to meet at 10 AM, but it's already well passed that and he didn't show up either.

So I just stood outside waiting for these guys to show up and they didn't. How unreliable. I'm selling the bike for a price that's basically a steal, $500 for a $2000 road bike, with two $50 carbon fiber bottle holders I bought for it, and 4 spare bike tubes each one being $30 each, and some bike lights. So yeah, this was normally not cheap to begin with, and yet these people don't even show up. I'm thinking of bumping the price up to $560 when I repost it next time.

And when I got back inside, the beans were done, and oh yeah my mom came out with me at first, but then we stood around for a while and being tired of waiting she said she was going back in, and my beans were still cooking but she went in and made sure it was still alright. So when I got in, the beans were basically done, so I ate, a lot. I ate an entire plate of beans and rice with an avocado, and then I tried to eat a second plate, but I was so bloated and full, I basically just passed out on the ground, feeling really sleepy and tired.

Then I woke up just a few minutes ago, groggily, and I got up again. This is the first time this has happened to me, I think my body was sore from carrying and lifting the bike and doing other things with it and carrying all the other things. I had to move very physically in order to accomplish what I had to, I had to bend here and there, I had to crouch, I had to lift the bike above my head, and so on. It was a wide range of movement, and by the time I got back inside, I was hungry, and after I finished eating, I felt sore all over, and then I fell asleep.

My body still feels sore at the moment but that might be more from exercising and running yesterday than whatever I did today, or I'm not sure, my soreness could have stemmed from anything.

Anyway, I still have around 800 words left to do today. I think I can get my to do list done, the items listed on there shouldn't actually take up more than 5 hours, right? It shouldn't take that long... So I think those to do list items are entirely feasible.

I mean I need to write down what courses I'm taking and what I need to complete anyway, so yeah. I'm signed up for many freaking courses at the moment, and I'm going to have to go through them one by one if I want to not only gain experience, but to also earn a little bit of money. I'll earn some money by doing those tutorials which is really cool, I'll get paid a few dollars here and there, which is more than enough to motivate me.

My dad is out working right now, he is working every day, no breaks. He was a "vegan" for about a year, but he fucking sucked at it, he'd only eat vegan at home but when going outside being served junk food, he would comply. That's how he got gout again, and could no longer walk. The past week he was basically unable to walk and had this swollen leg. Still, he went to work, and kept on working. Now he's back to not eating any meat again, because his gout came back, which I knew it eventually was, and he's back to eating cherries. The past two days his leg had gotten a lot better and he was able to walk around almost normally again, before this he was either unable to walk or he had a very strong limp, but at the same time he still went to work, getting paid very low amounts, but he still went to work, every day. Oftentimes from 7 AM until 10:30 PM at night, I'm not even exaggerating, that's his actual schedule. He leaves earlier than I do for work, and he gets home later than I do.

Why can't I have that level of commitment? That's such an amazing level. Well, I already quit "that", I quit anime, I quit dermatophagia, and today I can actually see the skin on my fingers getting better, they look like almost normal fingers now. I tried to quit sucking my thumb, but I woke up with my thumb in my mouth this morning, clasping a pillow close to my chest with my other arm. This will be a hard habit to break, and I'm not sure it's a habit I want to break, as I enjoy sucking my thumb, and can't imagine what I'd do in the interim of events if I weren't sucking my thumb.

What if I'm just by myself and there's nothing going on? Well, I could just suck my thumb, lie on the ground, and stare at the ceiling, maybe close my eyes, and sleeping becomes infinitely easier. For some reason I've gotten very used to sucking my thumb, but I'm unable to suck the thumb on my other hand. When I suck the thumb of my other hand, it feels like an impostor, it feels too thick and too hard to suck on. I think my other thumb is actually a lot softer, almost like jelly, and a lot flatter. With the thumb I don't suck on, if I put it in my mouth, I can feel my entire mouth, the entire sensation of a thumb being in my mouth, and my thumb can feel the entire mouth, the wetness, the teeth, the mouth roof, the wet areas, the dry areas, and so on.

With my normal thumb sucking thumb, I put it in there, and it goes straight to this one position, this 'normal' position, and it stays there, unmoving, and my entire mouth clasps at it, tongue and everything, holding it in place. Now when I do this with my other thumb, keep it in a single position, and have my entire mouth close in on it, that's what sucking my thumb feels like, now that feels a lot more natural and nearly just as suckable as my other thumb. So that's how that works. I literally do 'suck' on my thumb, when it's in my mouth.

Yeah I'm still not sure if I'm going to be able to quit sucking my thumb, but it's something I can work towards.

3:05 PM

Well I have technically gotten very close to 5000 words for the day. Let me actually check. I'm about 250 words away from 5000 words, so I'm just going to write for a bit longer.

Today I just browsed the Internet a bit more, and it's surprising how much time can go by instantly. I also checked my account balances and made sure everything was set, and I think everything is right so far. I attempted to set up an HSA, but then I saw that the fees were $5 a month, and also the way to deposit money into it was by a direct deposit instead of taking away pre-tax money from my paycheck, so I was like, uhh, no thanks. I declined the HSA terms of agreement and my account was frozen, I hope they don't charge me for anything because I do not want an HSA, not according to those terms.

I checked all my individual accounts and it looks like things were going well. There's nothing terrible to report, I just barely have any money in the bank at the moment. So I can't wait until my first paycheck then I'll finally have some money again, woohoo! I think I should finish these courses so that I can build up my own ways of getting passive income, and I do have some ideas.

I just... either I need to work on making the passive income, or I need to work on the courses, either way benefits me, so I just need to do something. But yeah, since I haven't done anything else today, I'm going to go outside for a walk, and today I'm going to explore and find out just where that secret passage in the forest leads. Before I said that everyone would usually turn around at the bridge to the entrance, but the past few times I've gone, there have been people actually crossing the bridge to enter, and I don't know where they end up.

So I have a good amount of time today until the sun goes down, I'll have until 9 PM. It's 3:11 PM right now, so that gives me around 6 hours of exploration time, although it still takes around 45 minutes or so to actually reach the bridge, once I get there it shouldn't be any problem. So yeah. I'm going to go exploring.

I hope I'm able to come back alive so I can upload my previous days' entries, it's been a while since I uploaded the entries, and also my daily selfies too, those have to be put up for sure.

9:32 PM

Alright so I walked well over 10,000 steps today, actually approaching 20,000 steps. I ran for a little bit of that, which was awesome. I really enjoy running now, and it's gotten a lot easier. Although I do run in the woods, and it does get terrifying at night time when it's all dark, and you look around you and there's no one there for miles, and your literal only way out is to just run as fast as you can to try and escape the woods, but there are also streams and rocks and little valleys and little hills you have to go through which can be challenging because you can't just straight up sprint out, also it's dark and there's lots of mysterious noise around.

The noise is the scariest part of the woods. That's why I tend to just turn up the volume a little bit louder on my earphones so that I don't hear the background noise of the forest. You can hear birds flying, critters going around the bushes, lots and lots of insects chirping and making buzzing noises, and it is just scary. The worst part is that sometimes you might run across a deer, but you won't see it unless you look directly at it, and normally in the woods, they blend in with the surroundings very well, so when you do spot them, it'll pretty much be when you're glancing towards a direction and you just make eye contact with this creature staring back at you with dark black eyes and has been for several minutes/seconds.

I have jumped so many times and have gotten the heebie-jeebies so many freaking times as I'm just running or walking, and I look to my left, everything is seemingly fine, I notice some weird brown that may not be part of the entire background, and then there's this deer that's literally right there that's staring right back at me, and I try to look brave but I'm usually afraid at this point, like very afraid.

It's so freaking scary because as you're walking, the deer's head rotates to face you. It's horrifying when there's like 10 of them, and you're just walking, you don't notice anything, and then you look to the left, and then there's 10 freaking creatures looking at you directly in your eyes, and as you're moving, their head just rotates along. It's freaky how they stare like that. It's like in that movie Inception, when in the dream, the subconscious members of the dream would just all stare at the 'intruder', it's scary like that, except this is real life, and it's dark, and it's happening to you.

One of the coolest moments in my life happened here too though, and it wasn't dark when this occurred, and there were also other people around. But as I was walking forward, I saw up ahead there were thousands upon thousands of black birds flying from one side of the path to the other. Literally an endless swarm of birds, it looked sort of like a locust swarm, flying from the left side to the right, and as I was walking forward, I would eventually run into that stream of black flying birds. I kept walking forward and got myself in the middle of the path the birds were taking to fly across, and both in front and behind me, there were hundreds upon hundreds of birds flying every second, from the left side of the woods to the right, crossing the path. It was one of the coolest most breathtaking moments in my entire life and it sounds like I'm making it up, but this actually happened. There were people around me then too, although the stream of birds ended before anyone else got a chance inside of it.

I just looked it up, the birds I encountered must've been called "Blackbirds", and they do tend to fly in large flocks. I originally thought they were a flock of ravens or a flock of crows, but that may not have been correct. Either way, I just know that they were these black birds, and they flew from one side of the path to the other, and there must've been thousands upon thousands of them, because it was like a neverending stream of birds that I encountered.

It felt surreal, because it felt like I was walking in slow motion, and all around me there were just hundreds upon hundreds of birds, all crowing and flapping their wings, making a large amount of noise, and causing a lot of wind gusts to blow on me. It was so nice. I'll probably never have that moment ever again, in my entire life. Yup, that was that. That was the only time I'd ever experience that.

You know, you pretty much only experience everything once. Most people, you meet only once. Just one time. If you're going down a path one day, and you cross paths with someone, that's probably the only time you'll ever see them in your entire life. If you're going to a party, or an event, or any sort of special occasion gathering, that's the only time you'll see these people. Not only that however, but that's also probably the only time you'll get to experience that event. It's the same with classes in school, or contracting jobs you're hired to work on, you'll only do them once, and then you're done (unless you fail of course and have to retake it).

It's so weird that we take every moment for granted, despite every moment being uniquely special. Each moment has to be unique and special, by its very definition. Just the mere property of time makes it so that every moment is a unique one. It doesn't matter if every person in a room has this one routine mastered perfectly, and they do this routine perfectly every day, repeating everything exactly (although this is already nearly impossible), but everything else in the outside world outside this room is going to be different, and the time that this was done on is different, so by definition no moments can ever be duplicated. It's just once. You go through everything just once.

You only have sex for the first time once, all your firsts are just once. All your seconds are just once. You do everything just one time. It doesn't matter if you're typing a letter the same way as you always have, every other condition is different, and therefore that 5000th time you're typing the letter E is different from every other occasion.

So yeah when those girls tried to dance with me, especially that one that kept making eye contact, I should've danced with her. Maybe I should've just said hi or anything else. I'm only 24 just one time. I know that right now I'm taking this moment for granted for sure, and that next year when I'm 25, I'll be like "why didn't I do X when I was 24? It was so much easier doing X than it is doing X now that I'm 25!" I mean I already have a lot regrets from when I was 23, about the things I did and didn't do. I could've done so much more with my life and I'd be so much more today.

But you know, I guess I do take things for granted, in hindsight. I went to Europe with my parents last year, and that's probably the only time we'll go to those countries together. Yet I didn't take as much advantage of those situations as I could have. If I were great at spending my time, I'd be walking outside again right now, after uploading my journal entries.

So in fact, I'll work on uploading my journal entries now, and then I'll either walk or drive outside. It's been a while since I had a 'refreshing' drive, so I may so that. But for now, I'll just work on uploading all my entries, including the one for tonight. I'm going to just finish this entry here.

I don't think I'm going to be writing that much more, until tomorrow, if I make it until tomorrow. Because you know, we don't know. I don't know anything about the future.

Or I might actually just go to sleep. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet, but I'll leave that time as 'untracked'. I'm most likely going to be driving outside, by the way. The second choice is sleeping.

10:21 PM

As I start writing more than 5000 words a day, I notice that the left side column of the website with the "Time Log" and "Tasks Today" and so on, starts to get longer and longer. Back then I'd write just around 1000 or so words, and that would be appropriate for the left side column, the space would fill in basically evenly, sometimes the "Time Log" would even overpower my main journal entry. Now that I'm writing a lot more and writing for longer, the amount of text in the journal box far exceeds all of the content on the side boxes.

Also, yeah. I think I'm going to drive out for a bit tonight. I feel alive, like I have all the freedom in the world. Although I can't use the computer now because it's getting late and my eyes are starting to get blurry from using them in such close proximity with no far distance object viewable beyond my computer (I close the curtains at night and I'm basically on the computer with the curtains just in front of it, which means my eye has to strain to see closer rather than further, and there wouldn't be any far distance objects I could stare at if my eyes start to fatigue).

Anyway, I guess I'm going to go ahead and just drive around, or maybe just sleep right now since I'm tired. I'll try driving out at night first, and see if it's fun. If it's fun, then I'll do it for a while, otherwise I'll just come back here right away and go to sleep.

Tasks Today
Find out what happened to photos from May 9th through 11th
Upload 21 photos to Instagram
Work on Time Log app
List Courses To Take in Order
Sell Bike if Possible
Catch up on Journal Entries

Full list in the Extended Backlog page

Was today as productive as it could have been? No
Did I take over 10,000 steps today? Yes
Did I program a little today? No
Did I eat under 2000 calories today? No
Did I write at least 5000 words in my journal today? Yes
Did I take and upload my daily photos for today? No
Did I upload yesterday's journal entries today? No

Time Log

12:00 AM – Writing Yesterday's Journal – 12:07 AM

12:07 AM – Setting Up Today – 12:10 AM

12:10 AM – Preparing to Sleep – 12:18 AM

12:18 AM – Writing Journal – 1:21 AM

1:21 AM – Sleeping – 7:50 AM

7:50 AM – Waking Up – 8:00 AM

8:00 AM – Setting up Apple TV – 8:15 AM

8:15 AM – Wasting Time – 8:36 AM

8:36 AM – Writing Journal – 9:11 AM

9:11 AM – Preparing to Sell Bike – 9:25 AM

9:25 AM – Standing Outside – 9:50 AM

9:50 AM – Wasting Time – 12:01 PM

12:01 PM – Writing Journal – 12:24 PM

12:24 PM – Browsing Internet – 3:05 PM

3:05 PM – Writing Journal – 3:12 PM

3:12 PM – Preparing to Walk Outside – 3:25 PM

3:25 PM – Walking Outside – 5:05 PM

5:05 PM – Break – 5:55 PM

5:55 PM – Buying Groceries – 6:20 PM

6:20 PM – Eating Food – 7:20 PM

7:20 PM – Walking Outside – 8:30 PM

8:30 PM – Break – 9:32 PM

9:32 PM – Writing Journal – 10:02 PM

10:02 PM – Converting Entries – 10:19 PM

10:19 PM – Uploading Entries – 10:21 PM

10:21 PM – Writing Journal – 10:25 PM

10:25 PM – Brushing Teeth – 10:27 PM

10:27 PM – Preparing to Go Outside – 10:35 PM

10:35 PM – Driving – 11:40 PM

11:40 PM – Sleeping – 11:59 PM

Productive Hours (6:16)
Writing Yesterday's Journal (0:07)
Setting Up Today (0:03)
Writing Journal (2:42)
Setting Up Apple TV (0:15)
Walking Outside (2:50)
Converting Entries (0:17)
Uploading Entries (0:02)

Neutral Hours (12:20)
Preparing to Sleep (0:08)
Sleeping (6:38)
Waking Up (0:10)
Preparing to Sell Bike (0:14)
Standing Outside (0:25)
Preparing to Walk Outside (0:13)
Break (1:52)
Buying Groceries (0:25)
Eating Food (1:00)
Brushing Teeth (0:02)
Preparing to go outside (0:08)
Driving (1:05)

Unproductive Hours (4:13)
Wasting Time (2:32)
Browsing Internet (2:41)

Megg's Horses
Math: 0
Art: 8
Python: 7
Web Development: 218
Java: 0
JavaScript: 2
PHP: 4
C#: 4
General Programming: 8
Exercise: 39
Game Development: 4