Tuesday, May 22nd 2018

12:13 AM

Oh so now starts another day. I'm glad I ate under 2000 calories yesterday though, if I keep this up, I know I'll eventually lose a lot of freaking weight. I also made sure to try and walk over 10,000 steps today, I didn't reach that, but at least I got to 4000 steps. I would've kept on walking but it was already a bit over 11 PM, and I decided that if I wanted to upload 21 photos that day, I'd have to turn around and get back before 11:20 PM.

I also uploaded 21 photos yesterday to my IG, I think I'm behind at least 100+ photos, but doing 21 a day makes it possible to catch up within just a few days. I'm glad I was able to get a bit done yesterday even though it wasn't that much, it was more than the day before, sort of. I actually walked over 10k steps on Sunday, and I wrote a lot as well, but yesterday I was able to write over 5000 words, and I managed to get over 4000 steps, and I worked for over 8 hours. The 8 hours of work, that's what makes yesterday better than the day before.

Oh, and I cried yesterday too. Those were emotional, but great times. I feel alright. I feel alive. Sad, tearful, emotional, but alive. I miss my friends, but if I want to make some new ones, I'm going to have to join another new social network. I don't have enough time for that. I have two extremely difficult classes coming up early next month, and I'm going to have to basically devote all my waking time outside of work, to those classes. Those classes are brutal.

If I'm even one day behind in the assignments, I'm dead. I can't catch up anymore. That's what happened to me last term, I tried, I did several hours of studying for both classes, but it wasn't enough. I mean yeah I did well when I did spend those hours, but the next two weeks I barely studied for some reason, and that's when I fell off course.

Having written over 5000 words yesterday felt great. It made me feel alive. Of course the subjects I write about jump from one to the next, but that's just how I write. I can try and be more disciplined and more structured in my writing, but then that would make it difficult to come up with 5000 words. I'd have to write an outline of exactly what I wanted to write about, and then a draft from that, and then a final outline, that would just take up a lot more of my time than necessary.

So here I am writing things down in my journal instead of watching anime which is what I would normally do around this time. Seriously. I would watch anime or other videos until I eventually fell asleep. That's a terrible idea. Oh yeah, I should definitely sleep right now, because I am often sleepy at work, and I often do not get anywhere close to 8 hours of sleep a day. In fact, since I time it, I can statistically see that I get less than 6 hours most nights I think, I actually do track it, but I don't look at it that often.

So there we go. I'm going to brush my teeth then go to bed.

11:40 PM

I fucked up. The day's already over before I even realized it had begun.

This morning I woke up pretty early because I had to drop my mom off. I made a terrible mistake of staying up until nearly 2 AM, the time I actually put down in the time log was an estimate and not exact, but yeah I slept pretty late, and I woke up pretty early. That's not a great habit to get into.

Anyway, it was a pretty typical day. I woke up, took a shower and got ready for work, and the surprising thing is that I went all nice and slow, but still got it down in just 30 minutes. The other day I rushed and I barely got out after 10 minutes. So anyway, I got ready for work, my mom was ready too, I brought some blackberries with me to the car to eat on the drive and for breakfast when I got into work.

I dropped my mom off, and then I went off to my own workplace. Traffic wasn't that bad, almost no traffic this early in the morning, although there are some occasions when it's really bad, it's rarer at this time. The drive to my own workplace after dropping off my mom was around 15 minutes, it's 15 minutes to get to my mom's work place, 15 minutes to go home from her workplace, or since I was headed to work, 15 minutes to get to my own workplace. But the surprising thing is, it also takes around 15 minutes to get to my workplace from home or vice versa. So all these places I need to get to are just 15 minutes away from each other. It's so weird how that works.

To get to my mom's workplace it's a pretty straightforward drive through some very open and fast moving roads. Oh yeah this reminds me of this one funny joke in the English language, that you park in your driveway and you drive in the parkway. It's so funny how actually works like that! I drove through a parkway I guess, although it wasn't technically a freeway/highway, it was just this very long open road that goes from my city to several other cities.

To get to my own workplace you have to make a bunch of twists and turns and go through some neighborhoods where you have to slow down your speed. It depends on the path you take though, my GPS for some reason recommends this ultra-long pathway where you twist and turn through different neighborhoods and different areas, like I've lived in that area for more than 10 years now and I get lost going through there. I'm not that familiar with the places it takes me through to be honest, despite having bicycled through there before and having driven through there loads of times.

I found this alternate route that my GPS did not recommend, I just discovered it by driving by this one road sign one time, and I noticed this was the same road that went to this other city. I wondered if the two connected? I didn't think so at first, and I followed the GPS on my first day at work. Then I think the next day or something, I took a leap of faith and went through this road, and it was a little bit slower because you went through these neighborhoods and you had to go slower, but it was a straight road, and I was able to find this path from my workplace to my mom's workplace that was basically a straight line. It was amazing, no more weird looping and such like I did on my first day.

So yeah after I dropped off my mom, I went to work. I was there pretty early, I got in, and just used the computer. I 'worked' for pretty much the entire day, except when I took a break for lunch. I rarely do it, because it's not worth it, but I drove back home to eat some lunch, and then I drove back. The thing is, despite living so close, I barely have enough time at home to eat food before I have to drive back again if I wanted to get back in time for my just 1 hour of lunch. Plus the gas and the time, it wasn't worth it to drive. There was also always traffic for some reason during lunch time, despite it being practically empty in the morning.

I did a little bit of work today, it was mainly just bug fixing and reading lines of code and trying to figure out solutions to things. I'm not sure if I can honestly count this as me doing actual web development, as I'm not actually programming anything, it's more like I'm just there reading and analyzing and typing stuff down every now and then. Most of the time I'm reading, I'm looking up why this does this or why that does that. I wrote like maybe 30 lines of code total the entire day, maybe less, because I didn't want to break anything. There were thousands of lines of code and hundreds of files I had to sift through for the tasks I needed to accomplish.

It was fun, it was good. But hmm. I guess I'm forced to add this as 8 hours of web development to my Megg's Horses. The thing is, I hate lying about my hours and I would never try to do such a thing. If I, for example, pretended I just did 8 hours of web development every day for 5 years, I'd have over 10k hours. But then since I just pretended without doing any actual work, I wouldn't have gotten any actual experience. So I hate doing that!

Although I haven't done this this week I think, I need to get into work and just 100% fully concentrate, no slacking off, no disorientation or paying attention to anything else. I just need to focus 100% on web development. I remember my first two weeks of work, and that is all I did. I wasn't actually assigned any projects yet, I was just told to learn these two frameworks and learn this new language and other things, so that's all I did. That's why I felt amazing, that's why I wrote about how amazing my first day and second day and so on felt, because I was learning a lot, I devoted literally all my waking time, just studying.

Even up to the end of the second week, I barely knew what I was doing. Last week was my third week, and that's really when I felt more confidence in my abilities. This week was when I was assigned actual work, and I'm able to do it. Although it is definitely hard. The one thing they really want me to work on though is pretty hard, and I don't know the solution to it yet, like I'm lost and I have no idea, plus I have to read through thousands of lines of code and jump through hundreds of files, literally, it's so confusing but exhilarating at times.

Geez I didn't even know how to spell exhilarating. That is possibly the first word I have run into that I had to use autocorrect on. I learned a lot of English through school, and I pretty much aced every English class, and I won my elementary school spelling bee (such a piece of cake, seriously, it honestly felt like baby stuff even at the time, which it is now because kids that are my age from back then, are spelling much much much harder works and backwards too). Like, this was 1st grade stuff, I thought. They asked us to spell things like 'lightning' or 'biography' like seriously, easy stuff.

Spelling is not all that hard. It's one of the easiest things in the world. I don't even believe in talent, but I really just like learning and getting used to all these things quickly, seemingly more quickly than other people, but I disagree that anyone has any talent, and that everything only comes through from hard work and effort. Although I didn't really spend that much time learning words to spell like 'lightning', I spent more time doing it than others, plus I've probably used that word hundreds of times already through chatting with people online, which back then when I was in elementary school, no other student did.

It was such a rare thing for anyone to have a computer, let alone use it for anything. I was the one most fascinated with them since a young age. I feel like I've been surpassed by all my peers now, all my friends are in more advanced fields making a lot more money than I ever did, and I discovered many, many, many things before any of them. In fact I taught them so much.

It kinda sucks how life works out that way, but that's how life works out. You can be top dog for a short amount of time, being the most passionate about a certain subject, then you slip here and there, and you look behind you and everyone is still so far behind so you relax and think it'll be sometime before they even catch up, but then you blink, and then no one is behind you anymore, everyone's way out ahead.

I'll continue this on the next day.

Tasks Today
Upload 21 Photos to IG (7 day's worth)
Work on Time Log program

Full list in the Extended Backlog page

Was today as productive as it could have been? No
Did I take over 10,000 steps today? No
Did I program a little today? Yes
Did I eat under 2000 calories today? No
Did I write at least 5000 words in my journal today? No
Did I take and upload my daily photos for today? No
Did I upload yesterday's journal entries today? Yes

Time Log

12:00 AM – Finalizing Yesterday's Journal – 12:01 AM

12:01 AM – Setting Up Today – 12:02 AM

12:02 AM – Uploading Yesterday's Entry – 12:05 AM

12:05 AM – Adding Minesweeper to Portfolio – 12:13 AM

12:13 AM – Writing Journal – 12:24 AM

12:24 AM – Brushing Teeth – 12:27 AM

12:27 AM – Preparing to Sleep – 12:30 AM

12:30 AM – Watching Videos – 1:30 AM

1:30 AM – Sleeping – 6:30 AM

6:30 AM – Preparing to go to work – 7:00 AM

7:00 AM – Driving – 7:46 AM

7:46 AM – Working – 12:06 PM

12:06 PM – Lunch – 1:12 PM

1:12 PM – Working – 5:02 PM

5:02 PM – Driving – 5:40 PM

5:40 PM – Nap – 7:00 PM

7:00 PM – Wasting Time – 11:40 PM

11:40 PM – Writing Journal – 11:59 PM

Productive Hours (8:43)
Finalizing Yesterday's Journal (0:01)
Setting Up Today (0:01)
Uploading Yesterday's Entry (0:03)
Adding Minesweeper to Portfolio (0:08)
Writing Journal (0:30)
Working (8:00)

Neutral Hours (9:26)
Brushing Teeth (0:03)
Preparing to Sleep (0:03)
Sleeping (5:00)
Preparing to go to work (0:30)
Driving (1:24)
Lunch (1:06)
Nap (1:20)

Unproductive Hours (5:40)
Watching Videos (1:00)
Wasting Time (4:40)

Megg's Horses
Math: 0
Art: 8
Python: 7
Web Development: 194
Java: 0
JavaScript: 2
PHP: 4
C#: 4
General Programming: 8
Exercise: 34
Game Development: 4