Tuesday, May 15th 2018

11:43 PM

I just finished watching a YouTube video (not just finished, but maybe like 20 minutes ago), and it was about why it wasn't good to be so agreeable and so nice all the time. We had a potluck at work today, and I certainly felt like being nice and agreeable and I smiled at everybody. Yet the video was like "if you want raises and you want to get laid all the time like the asshole that does then you better not be so nice," not paraphrasing but it was similar. It sounds like a terrible idea. I don't think I can be anything but nice and amicable at work or with my close English speaking friends.

Really the only people I can be so arrogant to and so demeaning to are my parents and random people on the Internet. I love being right and making the right choices and just being arrogant overall. It's a fun feeling, I feel like I can only do that either by myself, or with my parents who are super close to me. I don't even think I can be that arrogant in the English language. I mean my parents are pissed off at me on a daily basis, we have arguments pretty much on a daily basis, yelling and fighting arguments, every single day but I don't even get pissed nor does my heart beat go up.

With random other English speakers in real life though, I feel like I can't keep up. The logic and language are just so different that I can't express my thoughts as simply as I can in Tagalog. I mean English is such a sophisticated language, just to say anything requires more complex syllables to pronounce and also harder words and much more vocabulary. Tagalog on the other hand feels to me like such a simple language where I can express thoughts so clearly and precisely. Like instead of saying "Did you know X and Y?" in Tagalog I would just be like "Heh why would anyone ever believe in Z? Why is Z even a problem? You know we already solved it with X and Y right?" something like that, arrogantly.

Man I can't even write down a good example. Just anything I say in English sounds so sophisticated, and anything I say in Tagalog sounds so caveman-ish. It's like I can grunt a sentence and it would make complete sense. I mean you have direct translations of English to Tagalog and vice versa, but they don't feel the same, though they might mean the same, they could be interpreted differently depending on the language tone, the speed of the words being said, and a multitude of other factors. I just sound so coy speaking in English while not in Tagalog for unexplainable reasons.

I can also speak English in a Tagalog accent which really helps me get my arrogant points across. Like today, I do this almost every single freaking day, because my mom recently had her blood pressure lowered from like 176 over something to 126 over something, and she actually got taken off medications recently thanks to my advice. I'm serious. She told the story very recently of how her doctor (she's a freaking doctor herself) and how he said he could no longer prescribe her medication because of how much better she's gotten. Then I cured my dad's gout as well, something he had been dealing with for over 3 years and took medications for.

I do this so arrogantly. I go and say things like this so arrogant like as if I were fully correct, and my parents never fight back on anything related to health or food or computers or money. I'm always right in those subjects, and I have no hesitation speaking my voice. I would be like "This is how you print things" and it sounds like I said that so nicely, but I would be slamming my hands on the printer buttons and doing things so freaking arrogantly and assholishly. No, I made that scenario up, I never did that.

But yeah, today there was a lady on the news who was talking about how she had cancer and how it came out of nowhere. My mom was watching. I often make a remark like "Do you know why I know so much? I don't watch the news, I get all my information online. You watch the news all day but I know more and anything you bring up with me I already know," because she would show me something, and I would already know it. See how arrogant that sounds? I'm like that in closed doors to myself and family.

But yeah there was a lady today on the news who was talking about cancer. I told my mom who was watching and she turned up the volume as I started talking because she got so annoyed, and yes she would often yell at me and I would run away because I can't stand her yelling, but I said something like

"You know no one that has cancer expected to get it? They are just like you and me, we wake up every day, normally, and they out of nowhere get cancer. It's not like they woke up today and knew it was coming or they woke up last year and knew it was coming, they had no idea. But just like how your blood pressure was cured thanks to my advice, you know that cancer is basically curable as well? We already know what causes it and what kinds of foods fight against it, yet most people won't even pay attention. It's a shame anyone pays for medications because just like how Dad cured his gout and got off medications, pretty much anything is possible to cure already by just eating the right foods and doing healthful activities. For example, kidney stones and gall stones can also be dissolved and removed from the body without even any surgery or having to pee it out, and diabetes is another joke, we already know exactly how to cure it but still people get prescribed medications. Also antibiotics are a complete joke, we are almost making ourselves extinct by continually using them since bacteria become immune to them within months. We already can do everything today, but most people closed minded it's hard to teach them anything."

I said something like that, almost verbatim. I would jump from topic to related topic. Of course I can't be so arrogant. I just get like that sometimes and I start fights that way. I'm not immune to something like cancer or sickness, though I am right about knowing what fights against it and what causes it in the first place. It's still pretty much random although you can definitely lower your chances and fight back. Also I actually love antibiotics, but hate their usage and use rate, it's such a useful technology but we are destroying ourselves by using it up too much.

Anyway this day is over so I'm going to continue on the next day. I don't think I'm such an asshole, I've never been that way to pretty much anyone but my parents and myself and maybe random people online that I would never see again.

Tasks Today
Clean Up Room
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Web Development for an hour
Exercise (At Least Walk Outside)
Upload Today's Photos
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12:00 AM – Preparing to Sleep – 12:01 AM

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12:15 AM – Browsing Internet – 1:20 AM

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5:50 PM – Wasting Time – 11:43 PM

11:43 PM – Writing Journal -

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