Saturday, May 5th 2018

9:00 AM

FFFFFffffffffffffffff-. It has been a while since I have written in my journal. Let me check the last day since I wrote, and I'll start from there.

Wednesday: I went to work for my second day. It was awesome, I was so grateful, I was so happy for this opportunity. I'm so grateful. I did my best, I worked hard, and I did what I could. Honestly, this new job doesn't compare to my previous one in terms of luxuries; it doesn't have free food, I can't set my own times, there's no room where I can lie down and take a nap in.

10:23 AM

It doesn't have unlimited vacation time, the environment isn't as luxurious (the entrance hallway to my old workplace had a 20-foot-high ceiling with gold metal plating on dark brown wood for the walls, with a shiny and polished marble floor with a nice pattern on it, covered by a large and long red carpet, with large windows that let the sun in and made it look so much more luxurious). My old workplace entrance looked like the entrance to a fancy hotel, and the workplace itself was very nice too, and there was a nap room.

And, umm... Yeah. My old workplace was a lot nicer, but I like my new workplace a lot more. I like it so much more. Oh yeah, I also do have to wear a business casual outfit every time I come into work, and this feels so much nicer. Just the comparison between the two, makes my new job feel more like an actual job over my old job. My old job felt like it was this dreadful, happy place. It was dreadful because I felt like I couldn't escape, everyone was nice and happy, too nice and happy, and it didn't feel like real life.

Oh yeah, my old workplace also had a gym, and I could go to the workplace at any time even on the weekends or very late at night. It was also on a really high floor and I could basically see the entire city from there. I would take my friends there and every single one of them would be extremely impressed because we would go after work hours, and there was still the free food, there was still the awesome views, and the entire place was empty, you could fit a few hundred people in there and there's around 200 people a day there, so there's a lot of space, a lot of rooms, a lot of meeting rooms, and it felt like the entire place was yours when you'd go there and you'd be there alone, free to do anything. There was also this very public gathering location that had this very large projector screen that lowered from the ceiling, and you could just hook your computer up and watch movies and bring like 30 people there, but I've never done that, just a hypothetical.

Anyway, yeah. I can't go to my workplace on the weekends or any time after work and all these new things I didn't have to worry about before. But, I'm loving my new job a lot more than my old one. Seriously. I love it. My new job is awesome. Though I can't disclose more than that.

On Wednesday night though after work, we returned my mom's car, and we stopped by a trail that was nearby just so I could show my parents. Then we went to buy food at a grocery store, and I bought some tortillas and guacamole for dipping. My blood pressure rose afterwards.

My mom complained about her blood pressure constantly. It went to over 176 / 120+ or something like that, on Wednesday night I think. I don't know if it was Wednesday night, it might have been Tuesday night when it rose to something like that. Anyway, I showed her several videos on how to lower blood pressure, including several videos on the effects of flax seed on blood pressure, and a video on the fruit and rice diet and how people with over 200+ blood pressure lowered theirs to under 100. My mom got hope from this, and in bed she explained that she was going to do it, and eat flax seed, cut out all the salt, eat mainly just fruits and rice.

This is Saturday now and she was very happy with the results so far, like she was very shocked because she had been taking medications for several years, and there was nothing it did that lowered it as much as this did. Her blood pressure now is in the 120s level, I think it was 126 last time she checked. She is super annoyed with me though because I would tell her how medications have all these unnecessary side effects plus the cost money, and she was so annoyed that I kept repeating that, and that eating the right foods would actually be more beneficial than any medication would be, which she didn't believe initially. But now that she has these awesome results, she's feeling a lot better now and she was thanking me today for showing her.

On Thursday, I don't... oh yeah. It was also on Wednesday night, right after work, right after we dropped off the car, that I dropped out of one of my classes. I dropped out of the software engineering course I was taking. I was not doing well in the course because I hadn't studied that much on it, so I got a withdrawal on it. I also emailed my advisor and asked him advice about the other class I was taking on networking and communications, which is actually a very technical course but it sounds like a social one, and he recommended I drop out of the course after I explained to him my situation (two relatives passing away, me losing my job, finding a new job, etc), and he said yeah withdraw from it as well.

10:57 AM

Thursday wasn't exceptional from what I remember. I woke up, went to work, picked up my mom, went home. Then I read the email replying to the message I sent the night before, and then I dropped out of my course, and I relaxed the entire day until I passed out asleep at night.

Man work is so tiring but I enjoy every second of it. I just watched some random videos on Thursday night. I think that's when I watched the OpenAI video of some AI going against one of the top Dota 2 players. I was pretty shocked at how good the bot was, it played like it was a normal human player. Like, regular bots in Dota 2 suck, they're weak, they don't know how to do anything, and they can be wrecked easily. Dota 1 bots are the absolute worst, they can't even move, literally, there was no Dota 1 bot, but you could still assign a computer to a player slot, so it would just not do anything, it just be there, but not be there, so it just stood around in base for the entire game, no actions made.

It progressed from that, to beating a human. Whoa.

Friday: Friday was just yesterday, I remember it. I woke up very early, around 3 AM. I did some work on the computer I think, maybe. I read up some things. Then around 7:00 AM I dropped off my mom at her workplace, and I drove towards my workplace, and I thought I knew which way to go, but I got lost. So then I spent the next literally 40 minutes getting to work, even though it should have only been around 15 minutes away. There was so much random traffic everywhere, and I got to work just in time just before 8 AM.

I left work around 5 PM, and I went to go pick up my mom. Thankfully there wasn't much traffic, but after picking her up I took the same route to go back so I could show her how to get to my workplace, and boom, there was so much more traffic on the same road I was just on, thankfully I was going the other way this time, so I was clear, not the other people on the other lane though. It was so crowded, and it was crowded for more than a mile, just a long line of cars, whew. I'm so glad I didn't have to experience that because I was just there literally 20 minutes ago, and it was clear when I went through.

Anyway, we passed by my workplace just so I could show her, and then went home. At home I watched videos. Random freaking videos. So random I don't even remember them. Can I even recall one? Oh yeah. I spent like 30 minutes watching a video on DeadRising, a video about 'secrets' and stuff in that game. 30 minutes, because that's around how long the video was, and I surprisingly sat through the whole thing fully conscious of what was happening and being shocked by it.

What other videos did I watch? That'... that's literally all I can remember? Let me think... even if it's some embarrassing video I'll write about it. Okay, I'm not going to post any way too personal videos here that I did watch yesterday. But I'm just trying to think of one more video that I freaking saw yesterday. Come on, I spent hours, hours, yesterday doing what... watching videos... but I can't even recall another video? What? NO WAY.

Wow. I really cannot remember anything else yesterday. Oh yeah, I watched some more programming related videos. Yeah. I fell asleep watching one. Honestly that's like 5 hours gone. Gone. I don't even remember what I watched. My time would have been better sleeping.

Then that brings us to today. I have just a few things planned today, I want to catch up on my journal entries, my photos, and exercise. That's it. I also want to clean up my room and my computer desktop because it's getting crowded. That's it. that's all I want to do today. I hope some friends don't want to hang out this week, because four of them wanted to hang out with me last week on Saturday, and three of them almost came over until I didn't respond to them on my phone and then they left me alone.

Whew. Man. I don't want to hang out with anyone. Thanks man. No random unexpected visitors please. I just want to do my own thing at home and be left alone at home. I'm perfectly fine being randomly interrupted or something outside of my home, but while I'm here, I just want to be here without random people coming and taking me elsewhere.

Oh yeah, yesterday I imagined myself as a skeleton. That will happen someday. I apparently pass by a graveyard, a large graveyard, on the way from my workplace to my mom's workplace, and I can just stare at it at the stop light in wonder. One day I'll be a skeleton (if I'm not cremated), and I might be put in a grave somewhere (I will never know this). Wow. It's inevitable. I'll be a skeleton, and then I'll be dust afterwards. I'll be dust for far longer than I'll be existing; that's life.

Even the well-known singer of that song, That's Life, Frank Sinatra, is dead now. He doesn't care about anything anymore. He doesn't care about the current modern times. He's already lived life through it all, he's experienced everything there was for him to experience during his era.

That's the surprising bit. We all live in different eras. It's like, you can really only take over an era when you're young. That's why I'm ahead of so many of the older people when it comes to the latest technologies and things like that. That's why older people barely know any of it, most of them did not grow up in this era, although arguably it was their era that formed ours. The concept of Internet and websites, it's something I've understood and used while growing up, that's why I'm so keen on it.

What about older people? What about younger people? What kinds of new technologies will they be focused on in the future, that I would know nothing about? You know? It's so interesting.

But yeah, I'll be a skeleton at some point. Whoa man. That's scary to even imagine.

Tasks Today
Clean Up Room
Clean Up Desktop
Organize Computer Files
Catch Up On Journal Entries
Catch Up on Photos for the Day

Update Website
Study Web Development
More in the Extended Backlog page

Steps Taken: 5623
Lines of Code: 0
Calories Consumed: 2500+
Journal Words: 2103
Drawings: 0

Time Log

12:00 AM – Untracked – 9:00 AM

9:00 AM – Writing Journal – 9:03 AM

9:03 AM – Hanging out with Mom – 10:23 AM

10:23 AM – Writing Journal – 10:48 AM

10:48 AM – Hanging with Parents – 10:57 AM

10:57 AM – Writing Journal – 11:22 AM

11:22 AM – Watching Videos – 3:00 PM

3:00 PM – Development – 3:30 PM

3:30 PM – Nap – 4:43 PM

4:43 PM – Bathroom – 4:55 PM

4:55 PM – Development – 5:00 PM

5:00 PM – Forms – 6:00 PM

6:00 PM – Wasting Time – 8:05 PM

8:05 PM – Exercising – 8:10 PM

8:10 PM – Wasting Time – 8:30 PM

8:30 PM – Development – 9:00 PM

9:00 PM – Wasting Time – 10:10 PM

10:10 PM – Friend – 11:59 PM

Productive Hours (3:28)
Writing Journal (0:43)
Development (1:05)
Forms (1:00)
Exercising (0:05)

Neutral Hours (12:43)
Untracked (9:00)
Hanging out with Mom (1:20)
Hanging with Parents (0:09)
Nap (1:13)
Bathroom (0:12)
Friend (1:49)

Unproductive Hours (7:13)
Watching Videos (3:38)
Wasting Time (3:35)

Megg's Horses
Math: 0
Art: 8
Python: 7
Web Development: 115
Java: 0
JavaScript: 2
PHP: 4
Programming: 8
Exercise: 24
Game Development: 4