Wednesday, April 18th 2018
Alright so I just browsed the Internet for a while and just looked up more information about death again. This time I read about what a person who actually died twice experienced while being dead. He said it was mainly just a state of nothingness, a blackness of not experiencing anything.
I wrote before about a way to conquer the fear of death, and that is to be curious about it and to be able to accept it wholeheartedly. I think that belief and way of thinking is still strong and can offer a valid resistance against the fear of death, but the idea of 'knowing' that death will just be eternal darkness, might actually dispel that kind of thinking. Death however will still be nothing to fear even after 'knowing' what happens after death, because it won't matter either way.
Another calming factor in death is that we all experience it. Sure we may die alone, but we aren't the only ones who will die. It may be comforting to realize that no matter who it is, they will die at some point too. I remember the saying of "whether you're king of a street sweeper sooner or later you'll dance with the reaper", and I couldn't relate to that. I'm not a king or a street sweeper, and kings are medieval, not even relevant to today's age.
A better saying might be that "it doesn't matter whether you're the richest man in the world or if you have everyone knowing you and obeying your every command and if you had everything you ever wanted, and if you actually owned the entire world and universe as you own the title for it, you still die in the end." Even though that saying doesn't quite roll off the tongue, I think it's more relevant, and it can be relevant during any time period.
Ah. So today has been a productive day for the most part. I woke up early, not as early as yesterday, but early on average. Then I got to work right away. The main difference between today and yesterday was that I didn't take a "break", which takes up a lot of time. I also didn't eat any food until later on. Now I just have to do one hour of software engineering, one hour of drawing, and then I'll technically be done for the day. The exercise and uploading photos bit, is very easy.
Also, I actually learned a lot today, more-so than yesterday. I think I'm starting to get used to this process, and I was able to fully commit myself to each one of the courses for the hour in length. In the communications and networking course for example, I spent my time in full concentration reading the content and taking the quizzes and doing the assignments. I was fully into it, despite it being 'boring' or me understanding that it was boring, I didn't complain, I just tackled it, and learned.
Same with the web development course and the game development courses that I'm taking. I actually got so into them and was learning so much, that I wanted to keep on going. I wanted to keep on going for the communications and networking course as well. I didn't want to stop, I wanted to keep on grinding through. In fact, after I finish my drawing, I'm most likely going to go back to the communications and networking and software engineering courses to finish up on what I need to finish. There are assignments due tonight that I haven't done yet, and I need to do that today.
Interesting. So I now have 61 subscribers in my MegawattApps YOUTUBE CHANNEL! LOLOOLOLOLOLOLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. I have 203 in my JustMegawatt channel, which I don't really care that much about....BUT, I'm just so shocked that my like, was it, 1 month or so of effort on MegawattApps, LEAD TO FREAKING 61 SUBSCRIBERS!!!! WOWOWO!
Yeah, yeah, I know it's not that much and I can brag about having over 1200 subscribers throughout all my YouTube channels, but I'm really psyched for my 61 subscribers on JustMegawatt because WOW. I was there from the beginning. I was there when the channel had 0 subscribers (as if I wasn't there for the rest?), but I just vividly remember having 0 subscribers, and then I made some videos, thinking I would maybe get 5 subscribers with luck, and boom... 61 freaking subscribers...
I uploaded the video to my JustMegawatt channel by the way, and not my MegawattApps channel, because my MegawattApps one is more for programming, I guess. But yeah, the subscribers coming out of nowhere, just shocked me.
And why did I make the video anyway? Spur of the moment. I was studying, suddenly I had this idea... suddenly I was just recording, I wasn't in full control of myself. The video which was about how to add citations and bibliography to Word documents, was not planned or anything.
Well my mom is staying at home for work today because she had an appointment this afternoon and I guess took the day off. So she was here with me throughout most of the day, my parents went out to exercise around 8 AM, and I was studying at that point. Then my mom just left around 12 PM and came back around just recently, maybe an hour ago.
So for fun, just as a random thing, I decided to show her the website and the progress so far on it. she had this opinion of me where I was wasting my time yesterday, and I overheard her on the phone this morning with some relatives talking about how I was just staying at home playing games all day. WTF!! I was so annoyed by that comment, and I could prove her wrong by simply just showing my time log of all the activities I did. Well that's what I did.
So now my mom knows of my website and she can now read all my thoughts and read about everything I do. it was fun showing her, because I was showing off the responsive features of the website being able to work on any sized browser, and I also showed her my portfolio and the videos and things I made from 2006. Geez that was over 10 years ago.
Anyway, now my work is basically public to at least one person I know in real life.
Awesome, I just got news back from the recruiter that there's possibly an interview for me and we're setting up the schedule for one now, it might take place either Friday or Monday. We'll see how I do haha. I am definitely nervous.
Also, I'm wondering if they have taken a look at my journal or if they have just seen my portfolio haha. Why the heck do I have to record everything? My mom was laughing when she saw how meticulously I had everything recorded. Oh well.
It took me nearly three hours to figure out what the answer was for that one assignment. It was supposed to take around five minutes at the most, but I had to read through a good amount of the textbook, and since the textbook was very technical, I would get lost. And so I went around basically not knowing exactly anything, but finally I got an answer, and I'm not sure if the answer was correct, but it's better than not having an answer.
Man. The class is far from over though. I still have to write an essay for the class. For both classes actually, both have to be 2-3 pages long, and they're essays. I don't think I'm going to get any drawing in today. I mean, one hour of drawing... that's quite a lot to ask for. One hour of everything... all equally valued.
I don't know if that's the right way or not. For now though I'm going to take a break and play a game for a while. While playing it, I'm going to contemplate whether I should uninstall it for all time or not.
Well I just played some games for nearly 5 hours straight. I played MapleStory and Ragnarok Online. I played MapleStory for about 4 hours and 15 straight or so, I played Ragnarok Online for maybe 10 minutes before quitting, and I had some breaks, very minor and brief breaks, that lasted maybe 15 minutes total.
Let me write about my experience. I remember playing MapleStory back in 2005-2006, I even played a little bit in 2007 and maybe 2008. MapleStory was this huge game with millions of players, and it was so popular, everyone was having fun playing. It's this very addicting 2D game where you play a character and you go around fighting monsters and the goal was to deal as much damage as possible (that's what made it addicting). As you leveled up, you gained more skill points and more stat points, which allowed you to do more damage.
It was also a very social game. There were hundreds of players on the screen at once in some areas, and there were a lot of really nice and rare items and boss battles that people wanted to get to. Also, it took forever to level up. To get to level 10 in MapleStory probably took around 4-5 hours grinding, I'm not joking. It took me at least a day or two back in the day, to get out of Beginner (Maple) Island. Also to pick a class back in the day was ridiculous. You had to get to level 10, and then you had to walk over to the class trainer.
You could get lost so easily as there were several cities to get to, and if you wanted to be, let's say a mage, you wouldn't get easy directions to get there. Also, it would take forever to get places! You always had to walk, and the navigation spells the classes had (only thieves and mages had navigational benefits), were pretty limited in their power and they also cost a lot of mana. So potions were a huge thing in of the old MapleStory. You had to take potions all the time, and also money was hard to get in the game.
People actually traded items, rare items, for money. That's how rare money was in that game, despite it being an unlimited commodity. In another game, for example Diablo II, the money in that game became worthless because there was so much, and it had no use case. You didn't buy anything in Diablo II other than potions, but in MapleStory, you bought everything with its ingame money and other players wanted it, and so it was this rare (yet unlimited) thing. Due to its unlimited nature, items basically inflated over time, but pretty slowly.
Everything was a million times more difficult in the old MapleStory. First, leveling up was an impossibility compared to today. I played for over 4 hours straight, okay, but I got to level 76, 79? Around there. I was level 31 from yesterday, but I managed to gain over 40 levels in just a few hours, barely knowing what I was doing. This... this is legendary speed compared to back in the day. Gaining even one level in four hours, that was hard. That was really freaking hard.
Like I said before, you actually needed potions in the game. You needed mana to cast any spell, and if you wanted to kill a monster fast you had to use a spell, so your mana would be drained nearly instantly after just a few casts. I'm not joking, you would probably cast a spell 5 times before having to pot and you would do this over and over again. It was a long grind to get to any level. There were also barely any quests, MapleStory was infamous for its lack of quests. It was a grindfest of a game, and yet millions of people still played it.
Now the game is so easy. I just saw a video from back in the day about a person summoning a demon monster in one of the more populated cities in the game, and the demon monster was basically killing everyone (it's some bug or misused feature at the time, but summoning a demon was hard since you needed this very rare item so it was almost never done). The guy who summoned Balrog was level 120, and I saw him attacking Balrog and doing around 4000 damage? So weak. I was doing like 11,000+ damage today having very weak gear and being in the level 70s. I would probably be able to kill that demon in a few hits without it harming me at all... no joke...
So the game difficulty dropped significantly in the new MapleStory. For some reason they made the EXP rates extremely high compared to back then. For example, getting to my level, let's say getting to level 70, was a dream for many people back in the day. It was a dream. People had set goals in their life to get to level 70, as that was when you would get the next upgrade for your class, giving you new spells and abilities (you only get them at level 10, 30, and 70 back in the day, later another upgraded was added for 120).
There was this one player named Tiger. Well, I have to give credit to the top 5 players at the time, freaking legends. These guys were heroes, legends, whatever you want to call them. I still remember them. There was this ranking on the official website that listed the rankings of people from lowest to highest level. Back when MapleStory was new, no one in the world had reached the maximum level ever (level 200), and it would actually be a few years, several years, before anyone would reach it, because like I said, getting to level 70 would have taken a year or around that, probably. I mean the highest I got was to level 44 or so, and I played for many many many months. I even got the NX Cards and bought the 2x exp gain cards, and I was just level 44.
So there's these five players who were top ranking in the world for being the highest level, the first was Tiger. Then there was CurryIsHot, then Suuushi, and I forgot the 4th guy, but then there was FangBlade who came out of nowhere (and who would eventually supersede Tiger). But yeah, Tiger was a legend. There's some videos of him being in the 80s levels, and he was already far beyond everyone else. There was a rumor going around that it was five people playing that one account, because his levelling speed was impossible to match.
I'm reading someone's posting about how hard it was to level back then, and he describes level 71 to level 200 as being so difficult that each kill (even monsters the same level or higher than you) would only get you 0.0001% EXP or less. I think that's a lot, actually. It felt a lot worse than that. But he describes how, when you die, you would lose 10% of the EXP bar for that level. So let's say you only built up 5% EXP to the next level, if you die, you lose it all, it goes to 0, anything below 10% goes to 0, and if it's say 15%, it goes to 5%. That could have meant weeks or months worth of leveling. Holy. Crap. Dying once, meant you lost weeks to a month's worth of non-stop grinding.
Were people just more patient back then? I have no idea how anyone could do that. It was so crazy and so difficult. The guy writes that getting from level 199 to 200, was the equivalent of levelling up from 1 to 100. Geez. It took me months to get to level 44, and it actually takes all of that and more, to get to level 100. I wanted to be level 70, and get the 'third job' upgrade. I wanted to unlock all the cool new spells at that level, because you received some very powerful and cool looking spells at that level (and the game was mainly about doing damage and casting a bunch of cool spells).
But yeah, I got all of that today at a fast pace. I played, I got to level 70, and I unlocked my level 70 spells I have always wanted to get as a kid. Yay. Dream come true! Then I played it for a few hours, and I was like, oh man, this is kinda boring. I was just killing some monsters over and over again to gain even more levels. Yeah I had the cool and awesome spells I always wanted to have, but I was doing the same thing, just using new spells.
With that, I decided to quit. For good. I had fun with MapleStory, it was a great game back in the day. Not as great as World of Warcraft or Warcraft 3 or Diablo II, but it was equal to games like Gunz and RuneScape, and it was better than games like Tibia, Dragon Gem, Grand Chase, Puzzle Pirates, Grand Chase, Survival Project, Lunia, and others. I'm just naming some games off the top of my head that I played back in the day in the late 2000s. I spent several years of my life playing these games, especially Warcraft 3. I spent a lot of time playing all of these games, but I spent more time in Warcraft 3 than any other. Thousands of hours were dedicated to that one game alone. I could've been a master web developer or artist in exchange for those hours. Oh well.
In Warcraft alone actually, I had played well over 10,000 games. I had so many replays. Hundreds, thousands of replays, and I had thousands of maps in my game folder as well. These "maps" were basically individual games themselves, made with the Warcraft 3 world editor, that allowed you to build custom stages for the game, called "maps". But these stages were fully programmable and customizable, so every map was unique, and every map had its own set of rules and gameplay mechanics. Despite it being a strategy game meant to be played in eagle eye view, there were first person games in Warcraft 3, there were racing games, RPG games, and in fact Tower Defense and DoTA originated from Warcraft 3, thanks to its superior level customization ability.
So I played Warcraft 3, but at the same time, it was more like I was playing a 'game engine'. Because Warcraft 3 allowed for so many other game ideas to come to fruition. It was super easy to make games too. I did it. I made this really fun assassin game where you played as this swordsman and the more you attacked, the faster your attacks became, to the point that you could just attack like 100 times in a single second, where the animation for your character would just be one frame moving and alternating and suddenly all this damage appearing on screen like a waterfall. It was crazy how much customization there was.
So Maps aren't supposed to record your progress or anything, like every time you started a game it was supposed to be from scratch. That's why DoTA, every time you joined a new dota game, it would be like playing the game again from the beginning as if nothing changed. Well people broke this rule as well, by introducing save and load codes. So now you can type in "-save" in the game, and a code would appear. You write down this code, and you could load it later, and you would gain back your hero, your EXP, your items, gold, everything, from the previous game. With this system, people were able to create full RPG storylines sort of like mini-MMOs inside of the game, where you play a character, level him up, then when you're done, just save, and then load later.
It was so dynamic and fun. I learned about Ragnarok Online through one of these custom games, and it was supposed to have every Ragnarok city and classes and everything. That's where my mind was blown. Because you can also read custom documentation per map inside of the game by pressing F9. I would read this whenever playing a new map, as it would have useful information. Inside of the Ragnarok map the help documentation listed out all the classes and class advancements, and I was so freaking blown away by how many classes there were. Oh my gosh, I wanted to play them all.
I think I only played this Ragnarok Online map in Warcraft 3 just one time, and I got to the highest class for whatever class route I selected, but I still remember playing that game vividly. I don't remember everything that happened, but I just remember my experience playing it and having fun. It was so fun. I knew about Ragnarok Online before, but it was this paid game where you had to pay monthly to play, so I never played it. But playing this Warcraft 3 map of it, that was mind blowingly fun.
So for no reason, I looked it up online, and found that it was available on Steam for free today. Wow!! I installed it while playing MapleStory. After MapleStory got boring, I played Ragnarok Online. I was so excited to play it, but the interface is old, and the gameplay style feels outdated. The UI and controls was what killed it for me, they were so outdated and it felt like they were using some very old game engine, which they were. The graphics were nice in Ragnarok, and I bet the story and gameplay is nice too, but the interface, terrible. I quit the game shortly after playing.
But yeah instead of living a life, I spent my life playing those stupid games. All my hours in Warcraft 3 actually amounted to nothing. Absolutely nothing. I had the time of my life while playing it, many friends were created, I had so many adventures. Oh yeah, three other games available in Steam that also originated from Warcraft 3: Legion TD (now on Steam, started off as a Warcraft 3 map), Town of Salem (originally a Warcraft 3 map called Mafia, literally everything is ripped off from it, everything), and well, I had to look up Town of Salem and I read some comments, and now I don't remember what the third one was. It was an entire genre of gameplay taken from Warcraft 3 though.... Dang it, I'm trying to think.... Ah, Dead by Daylight, completely taken from this game called "Maniac with Saw" in Warcraft 3, everything is the same.
There were so many game ideas and concepts taken from Warcraft 3, and put else where. Like I said; Tower Defense, Defense of the Ancients, Legion TD, Town of Salem, and Dead by Daylight. All originated from Warcraft 3. You could play all these games for free in Warcraft 3, absolutely free. The engine in Warcraft 3 probably worked better, and it was just as equally fun. Hmm, there are also a lot of ideas and things now that still haven't been taken away from Warcraft 3 yet.
I'm talking about "Tag" games, or "Hero Defense" games or "Defend the X" games or games like "Metastasis" (I actually do think this game concept was already taken, I just don't know any examples off the top of my head), "Tower Wars", "RP Maps" (literally where every player in that game collaborates to create the world to roleplay in. That's mindblowing now thinking about it, that you could give players in-game abilities to design the world), "God" maps, "Arena" maps, "Murder in the X" maps, "Hide and Seek", "Gladiator Arena", "Party" games, etc, etc.
I loved those. I became good at every single one of them. Like, I would be above average in every single one of them, and I had a very good chance at winning entire games. It wasn't a surprising thing for me to just be the victor at most games I played. I loved Sheep Tag. I loved Winter Maul wars. Julien's RPG (hah that was a classic game I actually made a review video for). Crop Circle TD. Dark DEEDS!! OMG. Dark Deeds. Vampirism.
Wow. Dark Deeds. That was a deep map. One of the most complex maps I've ever played. It... it required a lot of strategy, and survival skills... Oh yeah, survival maps like Island Troll Tribes. Both of those game types were very difficult. You basically started off with nothing, and you had to gather resources to build a base, kill animals and plant crops for food, etc. They were both survival games, in Island Troll Tribes you fought against the other teams, and there were classes with their own specialties like "Shaman" or "Voodoo doctor" or "hunter" or "warrior", etc.
But Dark Deeds, that was one of the most complex games I have played. I never became good at it. Someone else always carried. It was just hard to play. Basically, you start off the game in front of a castle, and then there's usually around 7-12 players in a game, and at the start it's morning and everyone splits off to make their base somewhere, there are no teams, you have barely any vision of anything, and yeah you can team and build with others but that's risky. Because at night time, and this is the scary part, one of the players turns into a monster (it could be a werewolf, vampire, witch, etc).
These monsters were far stronger than the player's normal farmer characters, and to win, the players had to kill the monster. For the monster to win, he had to kill all the players. The monster can't just go and kill everyone though, because in the morning, he turns back into a normal person, and this is when the other players can retaliate by building armies and attacking the player's base. Also, it's like a lifetime passes in the game, because to actually build an army, you first get married, and then you have kids, if the kid is a male, you can train him to be a soldier. So it's not like you'd have a large army, but still more than just your one character.
There were thousands of maps in Warcraft 3 for every subject under the sun. Anime maps were super popular, you had games like "One Piece vs Naruto" or "Bleach Wars" or "One Piece vs Naruto vs Reborn", basically any anime you can name, there's probably a map for it. The largest map database is EpicWar.com, and keep in mind Warcraft 3 came out in 2002, but if I go on the site EpicWar.com, I can see maps still being developed for it today. How... in... the.... World?!?
Oh. I forgot about LOAP. That was a classic Warcraft 3 map. LOAP was incredibly fun, and there were so many maps like it. There was also X Hero Siege. Darwin's Island. Peon Wars. Zone Control. Element TD. Stronghold TD. I loved all these games. They were so much fun. Warcraft 3 was like Steam, but a lot more games and a lot more copyright freedom (games like Diablo 3 or Warcraft IV or Starcraft 2 before these games came out, were coming out in Warcraft and they looked and played amazingly. Also the anime maps, there were also lord of the rings maps, and star wars maps, and counter strike games, etc.). I'm really saddened that barely anyone knows what I'm talking about though.
It is the best game of all time. I still can play it today, and it would feel better than most other games. It was seriously genre-breaking. So many new game paradigms and creativity came out from that game. It's kind of unheard of, 'games' coming out within another game... ah. There were so many game types.
Poke the Angry Ogre. Don't Move. Mutating Aeon. That was a classic. I loved Mutating Aeon. It was so ridiculously stupid which is what made it fun. There's not even any videos of it, or screenshots, or anything. So if you 'hosted' a popular map, like Sheep Tag or Dota, a lot of people would join. If you hosted a game no one has heard about and it had a weird title, like Mutating Aeon, then very few people would join.
Mutating Aeon was an Aeon of Strife map, so it was like Dota. The difference is that the skills and characters in Mutating Aeon were so freaking unique and overpowered. I loved the creativity of the characters you could choose from because they all had unique skills, and they all had funny as hell descriptions. So the characters or "Heroes" you choose are supposed to be these unique yet powerful individuals, but in Mutating Aeon you could choose, for example, "White Guy" and he had an ability called "Solve Problems with Credit Card" and there was even "Asian Guy" and he had this ability called "Mathematics Calculations", and so on. I don't even remember the other heroes, I just remembered the racist ones because I laughed out loud so loud at those descriptions of their spells, and I think there was also a robot guy, and some mages, and ninja guys.
No one played it though. No one. No one has even heard of it, no one ever played it, but I had really good memories of it because of how funny it was. Anyway, another awesome feature in Warcraft 3 was "Replays". Basically every game you played, could be saved. Every word, every action, everything you did in that game and same with everyone else's actions, would be saved, sort of like a video. Except you had free control of this video, you could move anywhere, you can click and view and see what resources and things people had at certain times and what they bought or did. It was ingenious.
Clean Up Room Upload Previous Day's Entry Web Development for an hour Game Development for an hour Communications and Networking course for an hour Software Engineering course for an hour
Draw for an hour
Upload Today's Photos
Fix or Remove Archive Link
Fix or Remove About Link
Fix or Remove Contact Link
Instagram Photo Downloader
Clean Up YouTube Channel
"Quick Life and Death of Albert Einstein" video
Automate website uploading
Automate journal entry converting and adding to website
Buy Cellphone for Landline Number, door latch, system recovery software
Unity Game Development Course
Web Development Course
Software Engineering Course
Computer Networking Course
Plan for the Year / Month / Week
Create "Extended Backlog" page
Make Video on how to make a contact form
Tic Tac Toe Programming Problem
Make video on how to insert citations and bibliography into word
Steps Taken: 0
Lines of Code: 30
Calories Consumed: 2500
Journal Words: 5071
12:00 AM – Sleep – 6:30 AM
6:30 AM – Bathroom – 6:38 AM
6:38 AM – Setting Up Today – 6:48 AM
6:48 AM – Cleaning Up Room – 6:53 AM
6:53 AM – Uploading Previous Day's Entry – 7:06 AM
7:06 AM – Web Developer Course – 8:22 AM
8:22 AM – Game Development Course – 9:33 AM
9:33 AM – Communications and Networking Course – 10:53 AM
10:53 AM – Software Engineering Course – 11:02 AM
11:02 AM – Preparing Food – 11:05 AM
11:05 AM – Eating Food – 11:25 AM
11:25 AM – Browsing Internet – 11:33 AM
11:33 AM – Preparing Food – 11:37 AM
11:37 AM – Browsing Internet – 12:34 PM
12:34 PM – Writing Journal – 12:48 PM
12:48 PM – Wasting Time – 12:54 PM
12:54 PM – Software Engineering Course – 12:56 PM
12:56 PM – Preparing Food – 12:58 PM
12:58 PM – Eating Food – 1:17 PM
1:17 PM – Preparing Food – 1:19 PM
1:19 PM – Eating Food – 1:25 PM
1:25 PM – Software Engineering Course – 1:27 PM
1:27 PM – Bathroom – 1:35 PM
1:35 PM – Software Engineering Course – 2:13 PM
2:13 PM – Recording a Video – 2:36 PM
2:36 PM – Uploading Video – 2:52 PM
2:52 PM – Writing Journal – 2:57 PM
2:57 PM – Showing Mom Website – 3:08 PM
3:08 PM – Writing Journal – 3:15 PM
3:15 PM – Emails – 3:23 PM
3:23 PM – Talking to Mom – 3:33 PM
3:33 PM – Writing Journal – 3:36 PM
3:36 PM – Wasting Time – 3:42 PM
3:42 PM – Software Engineering Course – 5:35 PM
5:35 PM – Writing Journal – 5:40 PM
5:40 PM – Playing Video Game – 10:25 PM
10:25 PM – Writing Journal – 11:56 PM
11:56 PM – Taking Photos – 11:59 PM
Productive Hours (9:43)
Setting Up Today (0:10)
Cleaning Up Room (0:05)
Uploading Previous Day's Entry (0:13)
Web Developer Course (1:18)
Game Development Couse (1:11)
Communications and Networking Course (1:20)
Software Engineering Course (2:44)
Writing Journal (1:58)
Recording a Video (0:23)
Uploading Video (0:16)
Showing Mom Website (0:11)
Taking Photos (0:03)
Neutral Hours (7:50)
Preparing Food (0:11)
Eating Food (0:45)
Talking to Mom (0:10)
Unproductive Hours (6:02)
Browsing Internet (1:05)
Wasting Time (0:12)
Playing Games (4:45)
Web Development: 104
Game Development: 4