Sunday, April 8th 2018

9:55 AM

I just spent more than an hour cleaning up my room and now it is sparkling clean. Everything has been organized so that now my entire room looks nice and clean. There's no more random stuff lying around as that has all been put away and hidden, so it looks very fresh and clean now and everything feels possible.

I should have taken a picture of what my room and desk looked like before I cleaned it. It was so messy, things were scattered everywhere, and my desk was a mess. I had my computer on top of it but behind it was piles and stacks of books and paper and pens and miscellaneous electronics and cables, and there was basically no room for anything else but my computer. That's one of the main reasons I didn't have a second monitor, was because of the books in the way. Now that I have a clean space, I'm considering using a second monitor again.

I don't know if it boosts productivity, but I might try it out again. Yeah. Since I have room, I might as well do that.

10:06 AM

Okay now I have a second monitor. I don't know what to use it for though since I've just been using one monitor this entire time. I suppose it'll become useful. If anything, it's just cooler to have two monitors instead of one. I should clean up my desktop first before doing anything else, just like how I cleaned my room my desktop should be nice and clean, and I don't like the current wallpaper I have anyway. Oh man there is so much junk I have to go through.

11:05 AM

I just went through cleaning out my entire desktop and all its "library" folders. Man this is a huge pain to manage. I'm not even joking. There's so many random files and photos and videos and other things I've downloaded that it took so freaking long to organize them. Even now I'm still not confident everything has been fully organized, mainly because everything is so hard to find. I'm going to go back and see what else I can improve.

11:09 AM

Oh man I am so exhausted. This is very tiring to sort through all my junk that I have. Again I still don't think everything has been fully organized, but I am way too tired to deal with it right now. I'm going to take a break.

11:52 AM

Holy moly! I was able to draw some basic things like a hand, and I tried to draw a ball on the hand but I messed up so instead it became this super power attack in flames, a mouse, and a monitor! I was able to draw these things without following any tutorials or any videos or anything! WOW!!!

I was like, 'okay I'm going to draw a monitor' and my hands basically just started moving on their own to draw it!! I was visualizing it in my brain, and then my hands felt like they were tracing along the images!

This was after around 30 minutes or so of following tutorials online, I was like, "am I just going to be good at following tutorials, or am I going to learn how to draw things myself?" then I thought about what to draw, and a hand sounded like it was easy, so I tried it, and the hand looks crappy but it looked like an actual hand! WOW!

Afterwards I drew the special fireball in the hand, and then I tried a monitor. The monitor was extremely easy, the drawing just came alive and it looks so real... wow. Drawing isn't that hard. Then I drew a mouse. Now this mouse I thought would be nearly impossible for me to draw, the mouse on my computer. But wowowwowo!!! I drew it and it looks like my mouse... Dood it looks so similar. Unbelievable. I didn't think I would be able to do it, but I did it!

Anyway, I'm going to take a break again.

12:01 PM

Another thing is that my room is so nice and clean, that if I want to draw something, I have to take off a bunch of stuff piled on top of my sketchbook, move it back, and then it looks a little messy afterwards. If I want to put my drawing stuff back, I again have to move all that stuff away, and then put my book underneath, and then move the stuff back. It's kind of annoying but I realize this has to be done...

Or maybe I can just move my sketchbook and other things into a different pile, one where it would be at the very top for easy access?

12:05 PM

Ah there we go. It does look messier than before, but at least the drawing materials are a lot easier to access now. I put them on top of a pile of books, so anytime I want to draw, just instant access to that material. Whew. I love how clean and organized my room is now, everything is easy to find and I know where everything is.

1:52 PM

It is very hard to learn something new and do something new. It feels really uncomfortable and stressful. My brain kind of itches and I just want to stop and take a nap or do something much easier (like playing a video game). I guess that's why I haven't changed in two years, because I have been the same person, not wanting to learn anything new nor pushing myself to learn anything new, nor do I exercise or diet well enough to change my physique as well.

I've been the same person for the past two years because I have been doing the same things for the past two years, and when I'm not doing the same thing, I'm wasting my time doing activities that don't contribute to my growth. For example, I never drew that much in the past two years even though I wanted to improve at drawing, I also didn't program that much or study that much programming despite wanting to improve too.

I don't know if I procrastinate or if I am just weak willed, probably neither. But I do need to improve. I do need to get better, I do need to change and I do need to challenge myself.

2:14 PM

Well there we go. I finally bought myself a drawing tablet. Now I can finally draw things on the computer, when it arrives. That'll make my computer setup even cooler than it does right now! I'm going to practice drawing for another 24 minutes so I can get an hour in today. I'll be back.

3:07 PM

What a lot of fun! Drawing is a very fun and relaxing activity. It's definitely a much better use of my time than playing Dota 2 even if I don't really learn anything new in drawing, it's fun just trying to draw things. It's a very creative activity where you can basically make anything that you want, you just start somewhere, and keep drawing randomly a bit more, in order to finally get a destined output.

I tried drawing a bus from the front view and failed miserably, it still looks like a bus but just an extremely awful one. Then I drew a pencil sharpener, and then my phone case. Not bad. I mean all my drawings suck and I don't know where to go to improve, but this is better than me playing video games. So anyway, I think I'm going to take a nap for a bit, and then work on organizing all of my February entries.

6:07 PM

Each day feels the same but each day is different. Every day has its own events, people, opportunities, tragedies, that will never take place in a 24-hour time period ever again. Some people are here today, some people are gone tomorrow. Eventually we all go, every single one of us. Every single one of us.

I just finished reading the 'death' section of Albert Einstein. It said that he was quoted as saying something like "I will die when I want, it is tasteless to prolong life artificially, I have done my part, I will go with elegance." And then he died the next morning, never to exist again.

What's surprising here, is the difference between a fictional character and a real person, is there any difference at all? Is there any difference between myself and a fictional character representing myself? I mean, besides that the fictional character lives forever and I don't, is there any difference from the perspective of 100 years? I mean there's no way for me to prove Albert Einstein ever existed, nor is there a way anyone can prove that I ever existed either.

Mathematicians and writers are often quoted saying things like "If you want to live forever, prove a math theorem" or "if you want to live forever, marry a poet", but you still actually die. You're just remembered by future generations, so it's like you're just another cartoon character to them, because they can never prove you existed, only others tell them that you did. The creators of fictional characters don't claim that their creations are real, but honestly if there were some sort of fake history where a fictional character was 'proven' to have lived and existed during a certain time period, there's no way anyone could disprove it (besides just dismissing it as absurdity).

So what if some 'historical' characters and personas never actually existed before? What if suddenly all the history professors and teachers of one time period unanimously decided to teach a false history from then on, and then all future generations afterwards will come to believe this false history. If this teaching is continued for generations long enough, maybe 80 years or so, then eventually all of the people who learned the 'true history' would be dead, and now everyone would just believe this false history were the true history, and there would be zero ways to prove or disprove it.

It wouldn't be that difficult either. The only thing that needs to happen is that all present history books and websites would have to be destroyed (or archived in a hard to access location), and then the new teachings would have to occur for the young students. They would just believe anything they're taught anyway. A new cast of fake 'real' character can be made up, for example 'Roberty Gogenhen', and these fake characters are suddenly the ones who made the world what it is, like 'trees' were invented by this person or some other fake history ideas.

So in effect, there's not really any difference between me and a fake character. Sure I can prove I exist by "thinking", by thinking, that means I exist, because how can I think if I don't? But when Descarte thought of that idea, artificial intelligence wasn't around. AI can just as easily write down "I think, therefore I am" and if questioned they would say "Of course I am here. Do you not believe that I exist?" and how can anyone refute them afterwards? No one would be able to.

So again the line between reality and fiction has been severed and we're almost indistinguishable. I'm almost indistinguishable from fiction. After all, once I'm dead, there's no way I can vouch for my existence anymore. I might as well just treat myself as if I don't already exist today, since in the long run of the length of the universe, I never existed to begin with.

I never existed. Isn't that a comforting thought? What does anything I do matter? Well, while I am still here, I'll do what I can.

6:43 PM

Geez, Albert Einstein died roughly 63 years ago in 1955. That's nearly 70 years. He died at 76 years of age, so he's almost reached his 'existence threshold', which means they have been dead longer than they have been alive (I just made that up).

No one really talks about death. No one talks about aging either. Everyone ignores it or it's just at the back of their minds, at least, until they're older. By then, it's too late to think about changing one's life or trying to improve upon it. They'd already done enough damage to their being, that they can no longer restore themselves if they wanted.

One thing I want to look forward to in old age is video games. When I'm very old and nearly about to die, I think I would enjoy myself in a retirement home or in the hospital, playing video games until my death. "Just one more game! Just one more game!" and then poof, I just die, unable to play "one more." What the elderly of this current generation lacks is an interest or a skill in playing video games, which is why almost none of them do. It's such a shame they're missing out on something so great and exciting though.

You can relive different lives and different stories through games, even more so than books or movies, because you're actually there experiencing it.

Tasks Today
Clean Up Room
February Entries
Fix Entries on site and journal
Add Portfolio Page
Fix Footer
Clean Up Website
Clean Up Desktop
Install Linux VM
Upload Photos from previous days'
Upload entries from previous days'

Instagram Photo Downloader
Notes Uploader
YouTube Channel

Steps Taken: 50
Lines of Code: 0
Calories Consumed: 2500
Journal Words: 2216
Drawings: 18

Time Log

12:00 – Sleep – 8:32 AM

8:32 AM – Bathroom – 8:37 AM

8:37 AM – Planning Today – 8:46 AM

8:46 AM – Cleaning Up Room – 9:55 AM

9:55 AM – Writing Journal – 10:00 AM

10:00 AM – Setting Up Second Monitor – 10:06 AM

10:06 AM – Writing Journal – 10:09 AM

10:09 AM – Cleaning Up Desktop – 11:05 AM

11:05 AM – Writing Journal – 11:07 AM

11:07 AM – Cleaning Up Desktop – 11:09 AM

11:09 AM – Writing Journal – 11:10 AM

11:10 AM – Break – 11:16 AM

11:16 AM – Drawing – 11:52 AM

11:52 AM – Writing Journal – 11:56 AM

11:56 AM – Break – 12:01 PM

12:01 PM – Writing Journal – 12:04 PM

12:04 PM – Cleaning Up Room – 12:05 PM

12:05 PM – Writing Journal – 12:06 PM

12:06 PM – Break – 1:06 PM

1:06 PM – Eating Food / Resting – 1:52 PM

1:52 PM – Writing Journal – 1:56 PM

1:56 PM – Shopping for Drawing Tablet – 2:14 PM

2:14 PM – Writing Journal - 2:16 PM

2:16 PM – Drawing – 2:43 PM

2:43 PM – Break – 2:49 PM

2:49 PM – Drawing – 3:07 PM

3:07 PM – Writing Journal – 3:11 PM

3:11 PM – Nap – 4:33 PM

4:33 PM – February Entries – 5:15 PM

5:15 PM – Backing Up Entries – 5:25 PM

5:25 PM – Wasting Time – 6:07 PM

6:07 PM – Writing Journal – 6:35 PM

6:35 PM – Break – 6:43 PM

6:43 PM – Writing Journal – 6:50 PM

6:50 PM – Break – 7:50 PM

7:50 PM – Playing Video Games – 11:59 PM

Productive Hours (5:34)
Planning Today (0:09)
Cleaning Up Room (1:10)
Writing Journal (1:04)
Setting up Second Monitor (0:06)
Cleaning Up Desktop (0:58)
Drawing (1:21)
February Entries (0:42)
Backing Up Entries (0:10)

Neutral Hours (13:28)
Sleep (8:32)
Bathroom (0:05)
Break (2:25)
Eating Food / Resting (0:46)
Shopping for Drawing Tablet (0:18)
Nap (1:22)

Unproductive Hours (4:51)
Wasting Time (0:42)
Playing Video Games (4:09)

Megg's Horses
Math: 0
Art: 3
Python: 5
Web Development: 84
Java: 0
Programming: 4
Exercise: 16